Category Archives: Life

TGIF Link Round Up: Labor Day Edition

First things first: the Pond’s Cleansing Towelettes giveaway! Thanks so much to everyone who participated. I loved reading your beauty tips! If you haven’t checked out some of the great tips from other readers, head over to the comments on the post.

I wish I could send all of you the prize, but I had to pick just one winner. So without further adieu, the winner (chosen using random.org) is:

Heather, whose beauty tip was, “I use a foundation that has a sunscreen and moisturizer combined. This not only helps to fight skin cancer, but it also saves me 2 steps.” Great tip, and congrats!

And now for some links:

I’m SO looking forward to the long weekend. I want to get some rest, but I’m also itching to get out and do something fun. What are all of you doing for Labor Day? Any ideas for some frugal fun?

The first of many Sunday slide shows to come

Well, I paid a small fortune for this camera, and the good news is that it’s absolutely worth it. Just as I suspected photography is easier and more fun with a fantastic camera, and we’re having such a great time with it. The bad news? You’re going to have to endure a weekly slide show (or two) from me. :) I’ll be uploading images to Flickr every Sunday and posting a link to a slide show here.

This week I have two. First a few shots of Howie. He wasn’t quite cooperating with the camera at first. The shutter is loud and the flash is bright and he seemed a little afraid of it. But I finally sat him down and explained, “Howie, I spent enough money on this camera to feed you for 2 and a half years, and if we don’t get our money’s worth out of it we’re going to have to cut corners else where to make up for the money we wasted which means you may not eat for the next three years, so you better just GET USED TO IT.” He was more willing to cooperate after that.

Click on the action shot to see him pose.

action shot

On Saturday we took the camera out to Fort Fisher in Kure Beach, North Carolina to give it a test run. After deleting over 100 practice photos, I posted the 30 that turned out okay. Click on the image below to see them.

beach grass

I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday!

TGIF Round Up: Friday Fun Edition

Summer's endI’m so grateful for all of the kind words of support on yesterday’s post. I was incredibly nervous about posting it — so nervous that I actually woke up in the middle of the night, changed my mind, and canceled it. But when I woke up in the morning and read over it again, I decided it was important for me to be honest if only to prove that there’s nothing shameful about my decision to try medication. I’m SO glad I decided to run it. Thank you so much for being so supportive. I have the best readers. :)

And now on to something a little more upbeat! It’s Friday, which means I’ll be treating myself to a 32 oz. fountain Diet Coke this afternoon. Back in my pre-budget days, Friday night was date night. I looked forward to going out to dinner and maybe seeing a movie. But even though we’re cooking at home every night and enjoying quiet weekends at home now, I still crave a fun treat for Friday afternoon. So I run to the convenience store on my lunch break and pick up a HUGE Diet Coke for $1. It’s the only time of the week when I drink soda, and it’s also my way of kicking off the weekend. I tell ya, I am WILD. :)

But here’s my question for you: How do you kick off the weekend? Do you have a weekly tradition? I’d love to hear how you treat yourself!

And now for some links:

Happy Friday, and have a great weekend!

Photo by ginnerobot

A personal story about anxiety & depression

This is a post I’ve been thinking about writing for months. In the beginning, I wanted to keep this blog about money. But now that I’m writing more about lifestyle and well being, I feel like it’s appropriate to share something personal about myself that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share here.

Several months ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

I know, in this day and age, what’s the big deal? It seems like everyone has some sort of mental health issue. Diagnoses of anxiety and depression are a dime a dozen. But I’m sharing this here because when it happened to me, it didn’t feel like a dime-a-dozen diagnosis.

For my whole life, I’ve been unhappy for no reason. I thought that when I found the right person, we’d live happily ever after. Then I found Tony and everything was perfect, but it still wasn’t enough. I thought I needed to lose weight to be happy. I lost 40 pounds, and I still felt unhappy. I was working in a job I hated, or struggling with money, or I was unhappy with our location, or I wanted a baby. I always had an excuse for my unhappiness.

Finally, several months ago, Tony and I had a serious talk about it. “It’s always something,” he told me. “I don’t want you to look back 40 years from now and think that you were never happy because something was always missing.”

I decided to see a therapist. We talked about my constant unhappiness. Even though I knew I was blessed and saw all of the reasons I had to be happy, I just couldn’t feel that way.

We talked about how my whole life people had told me, “Why can’t you just be happy? Just wake up tomorrow and decide to be happy.” I can’t tell you how frustrating that was. Of course I wanted to be happy. I wanted to appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life. I tried and tried for years. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

We also talked about the worry and the fear and the anxiety. In a lot of ways, it had prepared me for the worst. It made me plan and think ahead and live carefully. But it also kept me up at night and stole away the happiness that I should have been feeling.

For years, I thought this was just who I was. I lived with it like a constant noise in the background. It drove me crazy, but I didn’t ever think to investigate or find a way to turn it off.

When my therapist suggested I try medication, I was hesitant. I’m sure frequent readers know, I can be a bit of a control freak. I dealt with the fear and anxiety and depression by micro-managing every aspect of my life. I tried to stay one step ahead of everything, and I told myself there was nothing I couldn’t do. I felt like taking medication meant I was surrendering to the depression and anxiety. If I had to “take the easy way out” with medication, then I’d lost.

After some soul searching and discussion with Tony, I made the decision to give it a try. I had tried everything else; it wasn’t working. In fact, things were getting worse. I was open to trying something new.

I was prescribed a low dose of a mild anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. The change in me was instant. It was like someone had finally turned off the static in the background. I could think clearly. I could deal with the feelings of sadness and fear I’d faced my whole life. I finally felt like it was possible for me to wake up in the morning and just decide to be in a good mood.

After three months, I can tell you it’s not magic. It’s still work. I still have bad days. I still feel depressed and anxious sometimes. But a bad day now is nowhere near as bad as my best days before. I feel capable of coping now. I feel like the road blocks that I faced before when I tried to be happy are gone. The blinders have been lifted, and I can finally appreciate the beauty in my life.

Most importantly, it didn’t change who I am. That was my biggest fear; that taking away the anxiety would change my personality or take away all of the things that had allowed me to stay one step ahead.

It didn’t make me a zombie. I’m still a bit of a nut case. I still overreact a little (I’m working on it). But now when I overreact, I don’t take it out on Tony. I don’t completely lose my cool to the point that I feel guilty later. I can cope with changes in plans and problems and bad days much better. I’m still me; I’m just a better, happier version of me.

I still want to plan. I still want to prepare. But now it’s not out of fear, but out of excitement for the future.

I know this is something that a lot of people face, and I’m sure there are many of you out there who feel like I did. You’re afraid to seek help. You’re afraid to try medication. I want to tell you — don’t be. It won’t change who you are. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost. I lost many years of my life when I should have been happy to these feelings of sadness and fear. Don’t waste another day feeling this way.

If you’re considering medication, please feel free to send me an email if you want to talk to someone who’s been there. I’d be happy to tell you about my personal experience with minor side effects and the amazing benefits.

If you feel like you’re losing the battle with depression and anxiety, maybe it’s time to try something new.

Menu Plan: 8/22-8/28

coffee and the paper

I had an absolutely fantastic weekend doing nothing at all. We went to the grocery store and the gym, but other than that we didn’t leave the house and barely left the couch. After last week’s marathon road trip to 3 different cities across 2,000 miles, a weekend of nothing was exactly what we needed. I’m feeling refreshed now and ready to start a new week.

Here’s our $59 menu for this week:

Saturday: Homemade pizza
Sunday: Roasted chicken breasts with steamed vegetables
Monday: Chicken fajita tortilla soup
Tuesday: Carne asada & Mexican style beans
Wednesday: Chef’s salad
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Sweet and sour chicken

For more menu plans, visit OrgJunkie.

Photo by my wonderful husband Tony

TGIF Round Up: Finally slowing down edition

I can’t thank all of you enough for the support and encouragement on my post about homesickness. I’ve found so much support in the blogging community for the past two years, and I know that all of this would be so much harder if I didn’t have such wonderful readers and bloggers to help me through it. To all of you in the same boat: we can get through this! We just have to stick together. :)

At the advice of the wise Kacie at Sense to Save, I’ve decided to try harder to find an in real life support group here in North Carolina. I’m searching for a book club to join for the next 16 months until we move. I’ll let you know how it goes. Those of you who commented to say you’re in the same situation, how have you reached out to meet people? If you haven’t, let’s all try! Let me know how it works for you!

The past three weeks have been CRAZY. Between the Paul McCartney concert in DC and our trip to Indiana last week, we haven’t had any time to just relax. I can’t wait to get home, park myself on the couch, and try to move as little as possible for the next 48 hours.

As always, there are errands to run and laundry to do and house cleaning, but other than that, I mean it! Laaazy weekend. We’ll see, though. :)

Now for my first round up in way too long:

From the Pecuniary Associates:

  • Counting My Pennies hosted this week’s Carnival of Pecuniary Delights. Also check out her post on Kiva loans. It’s a cool concept for a great cause.
  • Pecuniarities shares what she learned from a summer without air conditioning. Even if you can’t turn off your AC completely, you’ll definitely be able to lower your bill with some of her tips for staying cool.

And from the rest of the blogosphere:

  • Bargaineering explains how to cash out your IRA without a penalty. I don’t recommend doing this unless you have a really good reason, but if you’ve already cashed one out, check and see if you qualify for these tax exemptions. Tony and I cashed out his IRA for tuition, and we would have paid the 10% penalty of an accountant hadn’t told us we qualify for the higher education exemption.
  • The Happy Housewife is sharing some great tips for menu planning. Check out her series if you’re just getting started or looking to improve your skills.
  • If you’re like me, then you’re probably starting to get tired of the heat and humidity of summer. On Simplicity has some great ideas for summer activities you can enjoy as the season winds down.
  • My Two Dollars shows you how social networks can save you money.

That’s all from me for the week. Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

Proof that we’ve been to the beach at least once

Even though Tony and I live 10 minutes from the most beautiful beaches on the East Coast, we’re just not really into the beach. I don’t like to be wet, Tony doesn’t like to be hot, and we’re both too paranoid and neurotic to allow ourselves to get sun tans.

But I just found these pictures of us at the beach from June, and I had to post them to prove that we’ve actually been to the beach at least once.

beaches

On a whim one Sunday evening we packed up some books and a blanket and went to the beach for approximately one hour before the sun and the sand and the bugs got to us. Using the parking meter as an excuse, we packed up our books and left, but not before I made Tony pose for at least one picture of himself at the beach smiling. If we’re leaving North Carolina, we should at least have that.

The picture above was my fourth attempt. I kept telling him, “Let’s take it again. SMILE! You look like I’m torturing you!”

This is a more accurate depiction of Tony at the beach:

beach tony

And here I am pretending to LOVE my casual beach lifestyle. Soon I’ll jump into the dirty, fish poop infested water for a dip or maybe even jump on a surfboard despite the high probability that I’ll be attacked by a shark. It could happen. I’ve been watching Shark Week.

beach karen

Searching for a place called home

This month marks the two-year anniversary of our move to North Carolina. We’ve managed to thrive in our relationship and in our finances, but our social life is still at a standstill. We haven’t made many friends, and we really just don’t feel like we fit here. Being home last week only made that clearer to me.

I miss having a place to go for Sunday dinner. I miss getting together with friends for dinner or drinks. I miss having a support network of friends and family close by to help us through the tough times. Being with so many people who love us last week made it clear to me just how hard it’s been for us to get through the last two years alone.

Tony and I are blessed with a wonderful, supportive relationship, and for a long time I thought that we were enough for each other. But the closer we get to starting a family of our own, the more sure I become that we can’t do it alone. We want our kids to know the kind of childhood that we did — surrounded by grandparents, aunts and uncles, and family friends.

I’ve written before about our tentative plans to move back to Indiana when Tony graduates in December 2010. Last week pretty much cemented our plans. Even though it’s been two whole years, I’m more homesick than ever. I can’t imagine going through a pregnancy and my first year with a newborn without my mom, sisters and best friend there to hold my hand.

Every time I come home, my nieces and nephews have grown into entirely new life stages. The tiny infants I left behind two years ago are walking and talking and looking at me suspiciously because they don’t know me. It breaks my heart.

We’ve struggled with this decision since we began planning our lives together three years ago. We’ve dreamed of living as ex-pats in Europe for a few years or trying life in a new part of the country. But the older we get and the closer we get to starting a family, the more I know we need to be closer to ours. I’m craving a place to call home.

Between college and grad school and the time in between the two, we’ve been living in transition for seven years with another year and a half to go. We’re ready to find a home of our own.

What are your “go-to meals” for hectic weeks?

On weeks like this one after we’ve been traveling or the weekend is too busy to run our usual errands, the last thing we want to do is plan meals and grocery shop on Sunday night or Monday morning. Unfortunately, these are the weeks when planning is most important. The refrigerator and pantry are shockingly empty and we’re too tired at night to be creative with dinner.

The mix of exhaustion, laziness, and disorganization is dangerous for your budget and your health. It’s nights like these when I’m most likely to say, “Forget cooking, let’s order a pizza.” But after a week of overspending and overeating on vacation, fast food is the last thing we need.

For weeks like this, I have a list of meals that are quick, relatively healthy, and simple to prepare. We usually try to be creative and come up with at least one new recipe a week. Not this week. We pulled our menu plan directly from our go-to meal list.

Here are some of the meals I add to my menu when I’m crunched for time:

  • Chicken quesadillas
  • Tacos
  • Bean and cheese burritos
  • Pasta with marinara sauce
  • Homemade pizza
  • Canned soup and sandwiches
  • Grilled cheese
  • BLT sandwiches or salad
  • Breakfast for dinner

These may not be the healthiest options in our recipe book, but they’re healthier than fast food and simple enough that we can cook them up with no hassle.

Kacie at Sense to Save has written about experimenting with batch cooking to make hectic weeks even easier on her. Foods like casseroles or soups can be frozen and heated up later.

How do you get through your craziest weeks without ordering in?