This month marks the two-year anniversary of our move to North Carolina. We’ve managed to thrive in our relationship and in our finances, but our social life is still at a standstill. We haven’t made many friends, and we really just don’t feel like we fit here. Being home last week only made that clearer to me.
I miss having a place to go for Sunday dinner. I miss getting together with friends for dinner or drinks. I miss having a support network of friends and family close by to help us through the tough times. Being with so many people who love us last week made it clear to me just how hard it’s been for us to get through the last two years alone.
Tony and I are blessed with a wonderful, supportive relationship, and for a long time I thought that we were enough for each other. But the closer we get to starting a family of our own, the more sure I become that we can’t do it alone. We want our kids to know the kind of childhood that we did — surrounded by grandparents, aunts and uncles, and family friends.
I’ve written before about our tentative plans to move back to Indiana when Tony graduates in December 2010. Last week pretty much cemented our plans. Even though it’s been two whole years, I’m more homesick than ever. I can’t imagine going through a pregnancy and my first year with a newborn without my mom, sisters and best friend there to hold my hand.
Every time I come home, my nieces and nephews have grown into entirely new life stages. The tiny infants I left behind two years ago are walking and talking and looking at me suspiciously because they don’t know me. It breaks my heart.
We’ve struggled with this decision since we began planning our lives together three years ago. We’ve dreamed of living as ex-pats in Europe for a few years or trying life in a new part of the country. But the older we get and the closer we get to starting a family, the more I know we need to be closer to ours. I’m craving a place to call home.
Between college and grad school and the time in between the two, we’ve been living in transition for seven years with another year and a half to go. We’re ready to find a home of our own.