Category Archives: Life

Shelved

I love everything about books. I love the way they look, the way they feel in my hands, the way they smell. When we were less frugal, my husband and I spent more money buying books that we should have.

These days, we get most of our reading materials from the library, or we borrow books from friends. But books remain our favorite frugal gift for each other. We each have a wish list a mile long for books that we’d like to own, and every birthday and Christmas most of our gifts have that familiar rectangular shape. Only now we prefer to buy used books instead of new ones to save a little money.

Most of our furniture is second hand. I’ve been sleeping on the same double bed since college, we bought our couch for $30 from a college student, and our TV was purchased second hand from a friend. These bookshelves are one of the only pieces of really nice furniture that we own.

We found the big one at Target right before we moved to North Carolina, and we decided to splurge on it. (It’s no longer available.) We’d been using cheap bookshelves made of particle board and held together with glue and small screws, but anyone who’s ever tried to move one of those knows how difficult it can be. They’re impossible to move up and down stairs, and they’re so cheaply made that they rarely survive the move.

We loved this bookshelf not only because it’s beautiful, but because it easily comes apart into two separate pieces and six shelves. We’ll be able to carry it and move it unassembled, so it will survive many moves to come.

Despite the fact that we’ve slowed down our book purchases since we started living frugally, we’ve slowly but surely outgrowing the big bookshelf. So when I found a smaller matching bookshelf at Target, we invested in it.

I love everything about these shelves from the way they look to the books they hold, and because they’re so sturdy, they’ll be in our home for years to come.

This is one of four favorite things I’ll be posting about this week. If you’d like to share your favorite things, leave a comment or send me a link to your blog post.

Something old

On my wedding day, these pearls served as my “something old.” They originally belonged to my grandmother, who received them as a gift from my uncle in the 1960s, and she passed them down to my mother.

I knew I wanted to wear simple, elegant pearls on my wedding day, so my mother loaned me these. I absolutely fell in love with them from the moment I put them on. I’m not a big jewelry person (I typically don’t wear any except for my wedding rings), but I loved the ways these pearls made me feel — classy and elegant and old fashioned.

The day after my wedding, I tried to return the necklace to my mother before we left town for our honeymoon. When she told me they were mine to keep, I was absolutely thrilled. They mean so much more to me because they are a family heirloom.

I wear them now for every special occasion, and they make even the most simple dresses seem instantly elegant and refined. These pearls make me feel like Jackie Kennedy even when I’m wearing just a simple black dress. I can’t wait to someday pass them on to my daughter (or my niece if I don’t have a little girl).

This is one of four favorite things I’ll be posting about this week. If you’d like to share your favorite things, leave a comment or send me a link to your blog post.

Photo by Zach Dobson Photography

Family heirloom

(I was still catching up from our trip last week, and then I came down with the worst head cold I’ve had in a while. My weekend flew by in a cold medicine induced haze.

So I’ve decided to take it easy on myself this week by doing something unconventional. Each day, I’ll be telling you about one of my favorite things. If you have a blog, I’d love to read about the things you own that bring you happiness. Even if you don’t have a blog, you can share yours in the comments. I could use a little cheering up to get me through this cold.)

My mom has been a quilter for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I was fascinated with her work. I remember watching her stitch together beautiful patterns from tiny pieces of fabric and wishing I could do the same.

When I was 15 years old, I asked her to teach me to quilt. I carefully chose the fabrics for this quilt. Since it was my first, my mom recommended that I go with simple squares instead of an intricate pattern. I spent a summer cutting pieces and sewing together the quilt top.

Then I turned 16, and I finally got my driver’s license. I had reached the age where I was rarely home, and my finished quilt top ended up in a box with my mom’s unfinished quilting projects.

My mom particularly loved this quilt top, and she wanted to see it completed, but quilting wasn’t really a top priority for me as I finished high school and college. So imagine my surprise when my mom brought this finished quilt to my wedding rehearsal dinner. She had turned my quilt top into a beautiful finished quilt as a surprise wedding gift.

I love that my mom and I made this quilt together almost as much as I love its beautiful, soothing blue colors. Now that I’m a little older, I’ve taken up quilting myself, but this will always be my favorite because it was my first.

Recapping our cruise: The good, the bad, and the ugly

We’re back after a relaxing weekend at sea, but I have to say, after experiencing it? I don’t know if cruises are for me. It could be that we just had a bad experience with Royal Caribbean, but for a number of reasons, I can’t say I’ll ever do another cruise. Here’s the rundown of our weekend.

The Good

Cruising was definitely affordable. If you’re able to drive to your departure port and avoid the “extras” on the ship like alcohol, the total cost of the trip will like be much less than if you flew to a destination, booked a hotel, and paid for food separately.

For the most part, the rooms were comfortable if a little small. But it’s really true what they say about your room on a cruise ship — you spend very little time there. Even though we spent an above average amount of time trapped on the ship, we didn’t spend the time in our room. We were on the deck looking out at the water or reading.

Being at sea surrounded by nothing but deep blue ocean and sky was amazing. My favorite part of the trip was watching the sunset from the deck on our final night at sea. We went parasailing on our first day off the boat, which was definitely a worthwhile experience.

I also found it easier to relax on a cruise ship than I have any other vacation. Perhaps it’s because everything is taken care of for you, but I didn’t feel the urgency to go-go-go that I normally do while traveling. I read an entire book, which is unheard of for me on vacation. I never take the time to read while traveling unless it’s on a flight, and even then I’m usually too excited to really focus.

Since this trip was meant to be a chance for us to relax and recharge, that part of it was great. We mostly just read, slept, and ate, and I really enjoyed the relaxation. It was just what we needed.

The Bad

Honestly? I wasn’t at all impressed with the ship’s activities. Aside from drinking at the bars (expensive) and gambling in the casino (also expensive, and boring in my opinion), there was very little to do. We’re admittedly pretty anti-social when it comes to group activities, and after catching part of the ship’s comedy act on the closed circuit television, we decided to skip that, too.

Our second port of call ended up being cancelled due to high winds. They were unable to shuttle us safely from the ship to shore, so we spent our last day at sea. The ship definitely felt claustrophobic on that final day. I was frustrated and angry that we were stuck there when I’d been looking forward to getting off the ship and exploring the island — especially since our three-day cruise only included two ports of call.

For the record, the Royal Caribbean crew and staff of the ship was pretty rude about the cancellation. Their attitude seemed to be, “We just canceled half your vacation, but that’s not our problem. Spend more money at the bar! kthnx.”

I would have rather been off the ship in another country exploring rather than feeling trapped surrounded by other American tourists. It ended up being okay for us since it kind of forced us to relax for the day, but it was still a bummer. I felt stuck on the ship.

The Ugly

I debated whether I should share my feeling on this subject, but I’ve decided to give an accurate depiction of our experience. And honestly, I found the cruise culture to be a little disturbing. It was extremely strange to me to be surrounded by so much excess. Excessive food, excessive alcohol, and excessive spending.

I really don’t want to get on a soapbox here, and believe me, it’s not like we didn’t overindulge on the cruise. We ate way too much, probably drank too much (mostly because we felt like there was little else to do), and spent too much in the process. But on future vacations, I think I’d rather avoid that kind of temptation. It’s hard to resist eating and drinking too much when food and alcohol are literally every. where.

I think our biggest problem was our choice of destination. The only place we stopped was Nassau, Bahamas, which was a pretty bleak place. The entire city seemed to center on tourism, which honestly just isn’t my style when it comes to travel. I want to explore another culture and experience another city. I didn’t like being surrounded by other tourists and people seeking to cater to tourists. As Tony said, the part of the Bahamas that we saw was a lot like the beaches of North Carolina during the heavy tourist season.

By the end of the trip, when this towel animal appeared on our bed, I was ready to get home to Howie.

The Conclusion

I can definitely see the appeal of cruising, and I think it would be a good vacation idea for a family (as long as you pick a better destination than the Bahamas). If you’re someone who enjoys complete relaxation on vacation, you’d probably really enjoy a cruise to a tropical island. If you’d rather do and see more, I’d recommend choosing a destination with more to do and see than a tropical island.

It’s also possible that I just had kind of a crummy experience for our first cruise. For another perspective, read about Kacie’s cruise to Alaska. From what she’s told me, it seems like an entirely different experience than our cruise to the Bahamas with more interesting sights and experiences.

I definitely can’t wait to see how this experience differs from our trip to Europe in two months. The two trips couldn’t be more different, and I’m thinking the freedom of Europe will suit us a little better.

Have you ever been on a cruise? What was your experience like?

On your mark, get set …

Tomorrow afternoon, we set sail for a four-day cruise to the Bahamas. I so need some sunshine and relaxation.

Taking time off from my day job was easy. Unfortunately, taking time off from my own to-do list, worries, and work isn’t so easy.

It’s been months since we took real time off to relax, and no matter how much I plan to relax in Europe, I know better. With all the travel and things to do, I doubt we’ll have much time to just be.

Our trip this weekend is different, though. We don’t have high expectations or a long to-see list. I have no itinerary and no plans. We planned for this cruise to be our chance to recharge and refresh ourselves before the craziness coming up. The past few months have been hectic, and the months ahead will be even more so. We need to take some time to ourselves to reflect on what’s coming up and prepare for what’s ahead.

So I’m requesting time off from myself. I need a few days to collect my thoughts. I need time to read a book without feeling guilty about everything else I should be doing. I need to spend some real time with my husband talking and planning for the near future without work between us.

Tony is guilty, too. With his thesis due at the end of next week and graduation quickly approaching, I feel like his computer has become permanently appended to his lap. It’s rare that I’m able to pull him away from his work for a real conversation.

Because the weekends are when I do most of my writing for this site, posting may be light next week. I hope to catch up early in the week, but there’s no telling what my schedule will be like when we return.

After this trip, it’s time to get serious about packing our lives and moving north. It’s time to prepare ourselves for a new home, new jobs, and what will surely feel like a new life. So much is changing so soon. I hope we’re able to stop the clock, if only for a weekend.

Photo by lynnoel

Endlessly waiting

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a pretty serious addiction to countdowns. It’s normal when we’re kids, though, right? We’re always waiting for the next birthday, Christmas, summer vacation. It seems we’re always counting down to something.

It’s just that I never grew out of it.

It’s not that I’m unhappy with the here and now. Sometimes I am. But most of the time, I recognize how good I have it now. I enjoy the present. I do. But I’ve always got one eye on the future, looking ahead to what’s next. It’s in my nature to plan and prepare, and how can I do that without anticipating the next big thing? How can I prepare if I don’t keep my eyes ahead?

The problem is, no matter how hard I try to stay grounded in the present, all of this anticipating inevitably steals some of the joy of now. The more exciting the next step is, the harder it is for me to enjoy what’s now without wishing my days away.

I hope I always have a next step to plan for. I hope there’s always a reason to look ahead with excitement. The day that I wake up and realize there’s nothing exciting in my future would be a sad day, indeed. But I need to work on looking ahead to tomorrow without rushing through today.

I need to teach myself to focus more on the present. Most importantly, I need to learn that while it’s okay to plan and prepare, it’s useless to worry about the future. The universe has a tendency to work itself out for the best. My worrying won’t make a bit of difference in the end. All it does is steal my joy in the present.

Each day I look at the calendar and mentally tally up the days until our trip and the days until the next chapter in our lives begins. Each day it gets a little easier as the wait gets shorter. But every once in a while I need to remind myself to slow down. I need to remind myself that someday I’ll look back on this time in our lives, and I’ll wish I hadn’t counted down so anxiously to its end.

Photo by wdecora