Monthly Archives: August 2008

I’m an herb killer

A few people commented on my last post that we could save money on fresh herbs by growing our own. This is something that I’ve desperately wanted to do forever.

Last year, we tried to grow an herb garden from seeds. It didn’t really work, like, at all.

Then a friend gave us some beautiful pre-potted herbs that were already thriving. I put them on our porch in the best sunlight I could find and lovingly cared for them. What resulted is the saddest, most pathetic herb garden ever.

That used to be a beautiful herb garden with basil, parsley, rosemary, mint, and sage until I committed herbicide. The worst part? I so badly wanted them to grow that I continued to water those plant skeletons for weeks after they died. It was beyond morbid.

They’ve been gone for two months now, but I can’t bear to dump them because I’m convinced they’ll somehow magically come back to life. I know, I’m sick. I just can’t face the awful thing I’ve done.

I want to try to replant some seeds, but I’m afraid we just don’t have good growing conditions here. Our apartment is surrounded by enormous pine trees and very little sunlight gets through. We’re also facing north with no south-facing windows. We get no direct sunlight inside and almost none on our balcony. Even the pot of impatiens I hung from our balcony (a flower my mother swore would thrive in the shade) died.

I’m telling myself that it’s the bad growing conditions because I just can’t face the fact that I’m a plant killer.

We’re probably going to be living in this apartment for another two years. I either have to figure out a way to grow some herbs in the shade, or I have to live with paying $3 a week for fresh basil. Bummer.

I promise you, though. If I can’t make it work here, good garden space will be a top priority for me in our next home, even if it’s just a window box.

In the meantime, can anybody help me?! Any tips/suggestions for growing herbs in the shade? Should I just give up?

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Clutter clean-up update

I had the best of intentions to get rid of the clothes I never wear and round up all of the magazines that have been accumulating around the apartment for over a year. Then we spent yesterday afternoon and evening at two different cookouts. The bigger part of today went to running errands, grocery shopping, and honestly doing nothing. Then it was suddenly 7 p.m., and I realized I’d gotten nothing done. Oops.

The nice thing about blogging is that I now hold myself accountable for the little goals that I set. It’s just too late for me to get started on the massive undertaking that is my clothing surplus, but I figured I could get the magazines taken care of easily enough. So I set to work collecting all of the magazines scattered around the apartment. I found magazines in pretty much every room in our apartment. 42 in all. Yikes.

Here they are all stacked up and ready for recycling. Next to them is our very curious dog trying to camouflage himself and blend in with the magazines. He didn’t understand why I was lying on the floor taking pictures instead of playing with him:

Tony and I spent an hour flipping through them and tearing out articles, recipes, and workouts that we thought we might use in the future. We only found a tiny stack of useful information. The rest is going to the recycling center tomorrow evening along with all of the junk mail, newspapers, and other paper waste that’s been accumulating in the corner of our guest room for two months.

We’ve acquired a number of new subscriptions in the past few months, so our goal is to keep up with our magazine build up from now on. We want to get rid of them as we read them so the only issue we have on hand is the current one. We’ve tried this method in the past and, obviously, failed.

I don’t know why I’m convinced that I need to save magazines. I never go through them again. Never. It feels good to have them all stacked up in one place and ready for recycling. Here’s hoping we can stick to it this time!

Anybody else have a magazine problem? How do you manage it?

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Grocery round-up a day late & Menu Plan Monday a day early

Here’s our menu for the week:

Sunday: Vegetarian chili (a new recipe with lots of veggies and beans)
Monday: Chicken quesadillas
Tuesday: Leftovers/sandwiches (Tony is in class late on Tuesdays, so this will be our new standard)
Wednesday: Pesto pasta
Thursday: Chicken wraps with roasted potatoes
Friday: Homemade pizza

Be sure to visit orgjunkie.com for more inspiration for your own weekly menu plan!

As you may recall from last week, we’ve been working hard to make some serious cuts to our $90/week grocery bills. After reading the great advice of the people who left comments, I took an honest look at our grocery spending. I realized we’d been throwing a lot of unnecessary stuff into the cart that was really adding up.

Things like fruit, yogurt, and juice may not be packaged snack foods, but they were still driving up our grocery total without contributing to actual meals. The worst part is, we usually end up throwing away at least some of the fruit because we don’t eat it all before it goes bad. Dumb.

Because those things are healthy and I’d like to keep them in our diets, I’m going to gradually work some of them back into the budget once we get our spending under control. In order to find a happy balance, I think it’s necessary to restrict ourselves to only the necessities for a while. Once we get into the range where we’d like to be, we can add some fruit or juice if it’s on sale. We were buying too many of those items regularly, though, and paying too much for them most of the time.

This week we made a serious effort to avoid buying anything that wasn’t an actual ingredient in a meal. It worked! Well, at least we got as close to success as we’ve even been.

I was amazed at how empty our cart was with only meal ingredients in it! I had no idea we were buying so much extra stuff, but we must have been because our cart is usually stuffed to the brim. This week it was practically bare.

The grand total was $67.66. Still $7.66 above my absolute maximum goal, but I’m cutting myself some slack because we had to buy olive oil this week (a staple that we use in most meals). One bottle should last a couple months, and we bought the store brand at only $6 for a huge bottle.

We stuck to our list except for one item. We weren’t due to buy chicken breasts for another couple weeks, but I saw a single 3.5 pound package of boneless, skinless breasts on special for $1.99 a pound. That’s the cheapest I’ve ever seen them, so I went ahead and bought the package to freeze.

Without the olive oil and chicken breasts, my total would have been $53, which is right where I’d like our average to be. Tony, ever the rain cloud over my parade [kidding, kind of :)], was quick to remind me that it’s not wise to think of the olive oil and chicken breasts as “extra” purchases outside of the budget since we typically need to pick up at least one high-priced staple each week, whether it’s bulk meat, olive oil, mozzarella cheese, or coffee. I agree with him; our weekly budget should have room for these items.

The good news is we learned a few things this week that should help us get closer to our goal in the future.

For starters, one of my strategies was to cut down on meat dishes. We tried to do that this week by adding vegetarian chili and pesto to the menu. Now I’m looking at my receipt and really looking at the costs of those meals. Expensive items like red pepper, jalapenos and three separate cans of beans drove the cost of the chili up despite the fact that it’s vegetarian. For the pesto, our recipe calls for fresh basil, fresh parsley and pine nuts. All three of those items are pricier than a cheap cut of meat.

My new strategy is to limit ourselves to only one fancy vegetarian meal with gourmet ingredients per week, if any. Homemade pizza is always cheap and meatless, so that will remain a staple. For the third vegetarian meal, we’ll find some cheaper recipe ideas in the future.

After reading some of the great advice on last week’s post (thanks to everyone who chipped in!), I also decided to include a leftovers/sandwiches night to our weekly menu. It works perfectly for us. Now that school is back in session, Tony is teaching and taking classes again. Tuesday is his late night with classes until 9 p.m. and no time in between to come home for dinner, so he’ll either bring something to campus with him or eat when he gets home. That leaves me home alone to rummage around for something to eat. :)

Despite the fact that we still didn’t reach our goal this week, I’m feeling optimistic. At least we’re moving in the right direction, and I can see a few minor tweaks that we can make to get even closer in the future. This is a slow process, and I’m just happy to be on the right track!

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Being frugal when temptation strikes (is really hard)

Sigh. Being frugal is hard enough without the constant testing.

Today, Tony (the husband) and I were on a routine shopping trip at Target. Dish detergent (bought with a coupon), dog treats (also bought with a coupon), Raisin Bran on sale, and deodorant. We picked up our items, and because we’re masochists and we’re not doing anything else until we head out to a cookout later, we decided to browse a bit. Big mistake.

I don’t even bother looking at high ticket items anymore, so Tony saw it first. The Calphalon cookware we’ve been eyeing for over a year. On clearance. 50% off. Gulp.

As you know, we cook a lot. Aside from two Calphalon skillets we bought at Bed, Bath and Beyond with a gift card we got at the wedding, we’ve been using the same cheap cookware for two years. It’s still functional, but we’ve been dreaming of a new, high-quality set of cookware since before we moved.

So there it was. The exact set we’d been dreaming about for two years marked down from $200 to $100. It’s like the fates were trying to tempt us.

We stood in the aisle for about 20 minutes just looking at it and drooling. Tony, who I know wanted it more that I did because he does most of the cooking, tried to make it easy on me. “Let’s just go,” he said, gently pulling me away. “We don’t need it.” I knew he didn’t mean it, though. And I knew, despite his heroic attempt to save me from myself, that he was hoping I’d override his veto.

Mostly because it was something that I knew he wanted, I started making the standard excuses. “We’ve been so good this month. We deserve it.” Then the little frugal voice in my head that’s been getting louder and louder lately said, You want to celebrate the fact that you’ve saved money this month by spending money? How does that make sense?

“But because we’ve done so well, we should end up having about $300 left over at the end of the month from cutting corners in our budget. We could afford this without even breaking our budget!” To that, the little voice said, Um, up until two minutes ago, you couldn’t wait to put that toward your last little bit of credit card debt or your savings.

And of course, the excuse that used to trump them all: “We need it.”

But this time, that excuse wasn’t going to work. I reminded myself of the $100 Target gift card we received at the wedding. We discussed putting it toward new cookware, but ultimately talked ourselves into using it for an ice cream maker attachment for our stand mixer. Yeah, dumb.

To be fair, the cookware cost $200 at the time, and we didn’t want to spend money in order to use our gift cards. We did receive cash from relatives at the wedding, but we decided to use it as the first deposit into our savings account.

The fact remains, if we really needed that cookware, we wouldn’t have bought the ice cream maker first. You didn’t need that cookware so badly when there was something frivolous and fun you wanted two months ago, the frugal voice said. After all, gift cards never expire. Nothing was stopping us from saving up money to pay for the rest of it or saving the gift card until we saw a great deal like this one.

After I had talked myself out of it, it was Tony who started having second thoughts. “I guess when you think about it, we would easily spend $100 by going out to eat only four times. For that price, we can get brand new cookware that will help us cook hundreds of cheaper meals at home.”

As much as I hated to admit it, though, that’s not the point. We can easily make hundreds of meals at home with our old cookware without spending another $100.

Besides, do we really want to undo all of our hard work and restraint this month by spending money now when we’re so close to our first month of budget success? Celebrating your financial successes by spending money is a good way to keep yourself from ever really getting anywhere.

It was the hardest decision we’ve made since we decided to get serious about living frugally, but we walked away from the clearance cookware. Even though we had the money for it, and even though it was an amazing deal. Sigh.

I’m still questioning our decision. Eventually, we’ll need to buy new cookware. Will we end up paying twice as much for it and regret our decision to wait? That thought has definitely crossed my mind. But I just can’t risk getting off track now that we’re so close to our first successful month. We need to know we can do this, and we need to walk away from some good deals for a while if we’ve ever going to get ahead.

I’m sure someday, after many months of budgeting success, we’ll be able to make exceptions for things like that when the deal really is great and it’s something that we really could use. But right now it’s just too early to start making those exceptions. If we give in to every temptation from the very beginning, how will we ever get anywhere?

What do you think? Did we make the right choice? What would you have done?

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TGIF Link Round-up: Clearing Clutter Edition

Inspired by Kacie at Sense to Save who is selling her clutter on eBay and Heather at Freebies 4 Mom who challenged us on Monday to minimize our magazines, I have big plans to spend the weekend clearing some clutter out of my life.

The drawers in my dresser are so stuffed with clothes that I can barely open them anymore. There’s no way I wear all of that. So I’m going through my drawers this weekend and donating everything that’s stuffed into those drawers that I haven’t worn this summer.

As for my magazine stash? Sadly, it’s completely out of control. With 5 different subscriptions between my husband and me, we have stacks of magazines that have built up in every room of the house. They’ve been accumulating for almost a year. Yikes! We also have a stack of paper recycling that’s long overdue for the recycling center, so we’re going to get all of the magazines together along with our paper recycling and get it out of our lives!

Now on to the inspiring posts of the week. Is it just me, or is time going by faster than normal?

  • Emily at Remodeling this Life wrote an inspiring post about her motivation to stay frugal. This is a great reminder of what lies ahead for those of us still working to get out of debt, and a reminder of why it’s important to be frugal even after you’ve paid the debt down.

So now it’s on to the decluttering! Wish me luck! Happy Friday everyone!

10 tips for happy renting

As a happy renter, I’m continually amazed at the fact that people are in such a hurry to become homeowners. Don’t get me wrong, I plan to be a homeowner someday. But right now, I’m enjoying the freedom of renting.

When our air conditioner broke at the beginning of the summer and the maintenance man showed up to fix it for free, I was pretty relieved that we weren’t homeowners. And in two years when we pick up and move again, I’m sure we’ll be relieved that we don’t have to deal with selling a house in a down market.

If you know how to get what you want as a renter, it can be a happy experience for everyone involved. Here are some tips I’ve picked up after living in four different apartments in two different states for the past 5 years:

1. Stick with professional leasing companies that own multiple units or properties.

There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, the majority of renter horror stories I’ve heard were from people who rented from a part-time landlord. In other words, someone who isn’t a professional leasing agent. These are people who own an extra property that they choose to rent out, but a lot of times they don’t know what they’re doing. Part-time landlords often don’t have the money to maintain the property. They collect your rent and spend it every month, but if there’s a major problem, they can’t afford to fix it for you.

Leasing companies that employ leasing professionals have the resources to maintain your home. They also employ full-time agents and trained maintenance staff to address your problems. In my opinion you’re less likely to get ripped off and more likely to get professional service. Your part-time landlord might show up with a tool box to fix your sink when he can’t afford to hire a plumber, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing.

2. Figure out what would make the apartment perfect for you, and ask for it before you sign the lease.

The only time that you have the upper hand in the leaser/leasee relationship is before your signature is etched permanently onto the lease. The more you appear to be reconsidering, the more your landlord is willing to give you. For example, when we were apartment hunting, we were blown away by the ridiculously high security deposits and pet deposits. By telling the landlord that we felt they were too high, 9 times out of 10 the landlord offered to lower them. One of them even offered the completely waive the $300 pet deposit. That’s a lot of money for just asking.

This also works for upgrades. Do you love the layout, but hate the carpeting? Tell the landlord, and they might throw in an upgrade as part of your lease. I’ve gotten new appliances, new bathroom and kitchen flooring, and new carpeting just by asking before the lease was signed.

You have this advantage again every year when your lease comes up for resigning. This year, we got free washer/dryer connections (an upgrade that normally costs $30/month), a free carpet cleaning, and a $5 rent increase instead of the $15/month they originally wanted to raise it. We got all of those things just by telling them we were thinking about moving and asking before we resigned.

But this is important: if they offer it, get it in writing. Landlords are notorious for making false promises, but once it’s written into the lease they’re bound by the law. If they’re not willing to put it in writing, then they’re not really willing to do it. Run away from these dishonest landlords as fast as you can, no matter how great the apartment is.

3. Look at the actual unit before you sign the lease.

In Indiana, landlords are required to show you the actual unit before you sign the lease so you can make sure it doesn’t have problems.

We came to look at apartments in North Carolina two months before we moved here, and were disappointed to find out that none of the landlords were willing to show us the actual unit or even tell us the address due to “privacy laws.” They had a well kept, decorated model that no one had ever lived in, but that isn’t really an accurate representation of the apartment you’ll be renting.

We looked at 10 different apartments, and the story was the same at each one. I’m still skeptical about the legality of this, but we were in a hurry to get a lease signed because we were only here for a weekend. Always ask if you can see the actual apartment, though.

4. Read your lease front to back before you sign.

This is easier in some states than others. In Indiana, I always signed the leases months before move-in day, and could take it home and look it over before signing. This is ideal. It gives you time to look over the lease and make an informed decision.

In North Carolina, none of the landlords were willing to let us sign a lease in advance. All of the landlords gave me the same story. In North Carolina, they told me, you have to wait until move-in day. Again, we were in a hurry, so we went with it, but I was wary. Reading the lease was a lot harder on move-in day with the landlord standing over me with keys in hand, especially with a moving truck full of our stuff in the parking lot. What were our options if we found a problem with the lease? We didn’t have many.

To be fair, most leases are pretty standard. I’ve never found anything outrageous in a lease. But it’s important to know who’s responsible for what when you enter into a legal agreement. Believe me, they’re going to hold you responsible for what’s in that lease, whether you know about it or not. Ignorance isn’t an excuse.

On the flip side, thorough reading familiarizes you with what they’re promising to do in the lease so you can hold them accountable for their end of the bargain. Do they promise to pay for an exterminator if you get a pest problem or will you be responsible? Do they offer a free carpet cleaning? Are they responsible for changing light bulbs in built-in fixtures? What kind of fee will they charge you if you violate the terms of your lease? You won’t know unless you read it.

5. Ask for what you want, and ask often.

Every time someone tells me a renter horror story, I alway ask the same questions: “Did you tell your landlord, and how many times did you ask them to fix it?” I am amazed at how many people either don’t bother to tell the landlord or give up after one try. Whenever there’s a maintenance problem with my apartment, I park myself in the landlord’s office until it’s fixed. I’m not rude or aggressive. I just make myself very visible.

When we moved into the apartment where we live now, the previous tenants had left meat in the refrigerator. The power was turned off for weeks before they landlord sent in the cleaners. The refrigerator smelled like rotten meat. For a week I fought with the landlord, who casually told me, “Try putting baking soda in it.” Um, I had scrubbed out the refrigerator 5 times with bleach and it still stunk … baking soda wasn’t cutting it. Finally, after a week of visiting the office every day, they replaced my refrigerator. But they wouldn’t have done it if I had given up.

You have to remember, most landlords are dealing with the problems of many other tenants. I’m not saying it’s the right way to do business, but they often fail to remember you, or they prioritize their to-do list based on who’s annoying them most.

They also want to spend as little as possible to keep you happy, so they won’t offer to spend money to fix your problem unless you make it clear that you’re not going anywhere.

You don’t even have to be annoying for this to work; you just have to make yourself memorable. Stop in and say hello even when you don’t have a problem. Make sure they know your name, and they’re less likely to forget about you when there’s a problem.

6. Make friends with the maintenance staff.

This one is invaluable. Every time I move into a new apartment, I keep an eye out for the maintenance staff. When I see them, I always introduce myself, and I try to chat with them whenever I can. We also make cookies for the maintenance staff during the holidays and send them a special thank you card.

Maintenance people are the hardest working people at any leasing company, and they deserve credit for their hard work. After all, they keep everything in our apartment running smoothly.

But there’s another reason. If the maintenance person knows you, he or she will be more likely to make your needs a priority when they see you on their to-do list.

We also make it a point to never blame the maintenance staff in the event of a problem. We always take it up with the landlord, even if it’s possible that it’s the maintenance man’s fault (it usually isn’t). Ticking off your maintenance staff is a sure way to end up without air conditioning for a week while they take their time about fixing it, because they’re just “too busy.”

7. Carry a renters insurance policy.

I talked extensively about this in an earlier post that you can read here. But the gist is, renters insurance covers damage to your personal property in the event of theft or disaster. Landlords rarely cover your personal property, so renters insurance is worth the money, especially since it usually costs under $20 a month.

8. Only move if it’s absolutely necessary.

Many renters are unhappy with the temporary nature of apartment living. It doesn’t have to be this way, though. First of all, if you follow these tips, I guarantee you’ll have a happy renting experience … most of the time.

If you’re considering moving at the end of your lease, do like we did and figure out what exactly you’re unhappy about with your apartment. For us it was the carpeting that was starting to look a little dingy, the lack of a washer/dryer, and the rent increase. We told our landlord why we were considering moving, and they gave us everything we wanted.

The point is, moving is very expensive after you’ve paid movers, truck rental, and ponied up for new security deposits (after losing the nonrefundable portions at your old apartment). The longer you stay in an apartment, the less you’re paying per year in nonrefundable security deposits. We saved about $1000 by staying put this summer.

That being said, it is true that some landlords really are just con artists. And the worst part is that if you’re cheated out of money or treated badly, too often your only recourse is to hire a lawyer. By the time you’ve paid your legal fees, you’ve spent more than the landlord owed you. If you’re being cheated or ignored despite your attempts to get problems fixed, it’s time to move at the end of your lease.

If you’re in a really bad situation and you feel like your only option is to break your lease, check the laws in your state. Most states require landlords to maintain the property in “habitable conditions,” and they’ll allow you to break your lease under extreme circumstances. If this is the case for you, consult local or state resources such as the Housing and Neighborhood Development department in your city to find out your options.

9. If anything breaks, report it to the landlord while you’re still a tenant.

This one can save you tons of money. Often times, renters don’t bother to report minor wear and tear or broken items in the apartment unless it’s something huge like an appliance. This is a big mistake. I’ve never had a landlord charge me to fix small problems due to normal wear and tear while I was still a tenant, but those charges have shown up on my security deposit deduction list after I moved out.

For instance, in college a particularly rowdy friend broke the latch on our door. My roommate and I were worried that we would be charged to fix it, since it was our guest that broke it. (Technically, I believed we should have been held responsible.) But we called the landlord, and they fixed it free of charge as part of our maintenance agreement.

The following year, we had some vertical blinds that broke due to normal wear and tear, and we didn’t report them. They showed up in the itemized list of deductions from our security deposit after we moved. I’m sure that if we had reported them before we moved out, they would have replaced them for free instead of charging us $50 out of the security deposit.

10. Clean up after yourself when you move out.

Many people don’t realize this, but in an apartment with normal wear and tear, the bulk of security deposit deductions usually go to cleaning fees. If your apartment isn’t up to snuff after you move out, your landlord will hire a cleaning crew that is paid by the hour. Typically, every penny of that comes out of your security deposit. (The policy on cleaning should be in your lease, so be familiar with it.)

Make sure you clean thoroughly when you move out. Don’t just dust and vacuum. Clean the windows, scrub the oven, clean out the cabinets, and scrub out the refrigerator.

Some landlords really are just con artists who will deduct from your security deposit unfairly, but an honest landlord will return your security deposit aside from a few automatic deductions like carpet cleaning or painting costs (these are also written into your lease). It’s important that you know if they automatically deduct these charges so you don’t run out and rent a carpet cleaner, do it yourself, and end up paying twice.

This may sound weird, but make sure you change every burned out light bulb. I had a friend who worked in a leasing office, and she said they deducted $5 from the security deposit for every light bulb they had to change! When I looked at the security deposit deductions from my apartment, managed by a different landlord, I found $5 charges for light bulbs. This seems extreme, but it takes very little effort and cost to change a light bulb, and it’s worth it if this is something that other landlords do.

Why I wouldn’t sell my engagement ring

This morning Frugal Babe linked to a post she wrote last year about selling her engagement ring to invest the money instead. I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it, and I decided I had to post my thoughts on the topic.

I should start by saying I really admire Frugal Babe’s point of view. It’s practical and honest, and in most cases, I absolutely agree that expensive “stuff” is not a practical use of your money. Because I don’t believe in owning extravagant jewelry, I stopped and thought to myself, “Is this something I would consider doing?” After considering it all day, the answer I’ve come to is, “No, I wouldn’t.” Here’s why:

I agree with Frugal Babe on one aspect; my engagement ring doesn’t serve as an adequate representation of my commitment to my husband. If it was lost, stolen, or even sold tomorrow, it wouldn’t change the fact that I’m committed to him for the rest of my life. The ring has nothing to do with that.

I also agree that extravagant jewelry isn’t a responsible asset. In fact, I already own the only two pieces of jewelry that I plan to own for the rest of my life: my engagement ring and a pearl necklace passed down from my grandmother to my mother then to me on my wedding day. Even my wedding band is just a plain white gold band — no stones or ornamentation whatsoever. I don’t even think we paid $100 it.

To me, my engagement ring and that pearl necklace transcend the value of ordinary jewelry. I can’t imagine selling either of them because I don’t see a dollar value when I look at them. I doubt either the necklace or the ring would be worth much to someone else, but they’re priceless to me.

My engagement ring isn’t a frivolous accessory that I wear to show off. I wear it as a reminder of all of the days I spent with my husband before our wedding day. It doesn’t represent our commitment, but in a way it does represent our history because it was given to me the day he proposed. Though we paid much less for my plain wedding band, the two rings are equally meaningful to me. My wedding band represents the days we’ll spend together after the wedding.

The engagement ring is a diamond, and I won’t lie — I wanted the traditional “engagement ring.” It was exactly what I pictured; a simple, small solitaire. I was thrilled when my husband gave it to me. But I would have married him with or without the diamond. If I found out tomorrow the ring I’ve been wearing is a cubic zirconia, it wouldn’t mean any less to me. It wouldn’t have meant less to me if I had known it then. However, to sell this ring and replace it with another WOULD change its meaning, only because the new ring wouldn’t be a part of that history.

It’s not the diamond or its intrinsic value that matters to me. To be honest, if something happened to my engagement ring, I doubt I would replace it at all. I would probably just wear a plain wedding band, because to me, there’s no point in trying to recreate that history.

The same thing is true for my pearl necklace. I have no idea what its resale value is, nor do I care to find out. There isn’t a dollar amount you could offer me that would make me consider giving it up. If something happened to it, I wouldn’t replace it. Its value isn’t in what I could get from it if I sold it; it comes from the way it makes me feel to own something that once belonged to the women I admire most.

I never had any interest in owning a pearl necklace, because I’m just not that into jewelry. My wedding and engagement rings are the only pieces of jewelry I ever wear, even on special occasions. But when my mother told me after the wedding that the pearl necklace that had once belonged to my grandmother was mine to keep, it became my most treasured possession because of its history.

I like to think that my engagement ring will be that valuable one day. I’ll wear it every day for the next 60 years, and hopefully I’ll be able to pass it on to a granddaughter before I die. When I think of the joy that it will continue to bring to me or someone close to me for years to come, the money that we spent on it seems less important.

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Planning a stunning wedding ceremony on a budget

When we first started planning, we thought we were having a tiny ceremony with immediate family only, so ceremony and reception venues weren’t a big issue. That changed when we determined that we wanted to have an actual guest list.

We met at Indiana University, but our families lived on separate sides of the state. So we decided to meet in the middle and get married right where met in one of my favorite places in the world, Bloomington, Indiana. Luckily, IU has an absolutely beautiful little chapel right in the heart of campus.

I loved Beck Chapel for all four years of my college career, so I instantly knew that’s where I wanted to get married. But choosing a ceremony venue isn’t always so simple. I didn’t really consider anywhere else, but if I had there would have been a huge list of things to consider, not the least of which being price. Here are some tips for planning your ceremony without breaking the bank:

1. Get married at your church – This one is obvious. If you belong to a church or other place of worship, you can usually have your wedding there with no facility charge or only a nominal donation.

2. If your guest list is small, your venue should be too – We only invited 50 people to our wedding, but I didn’t want to walk down the aisle in a big empty chapel. Beck Chapel has a 65-person capacity. This is a deterrent for many brides who consider having a ceremony there, but it was perfect for us. We filled the chapel without inviting 300 people.

3. Choose a venue that doesn’t need additional decoration – Beck Chapel’s interior is adorned with ornate wood, and a gorgeous candelabra stands at the front of the altar. I loved its beautiful simplicity, and I didn’t think it was necessary to add flowers or other decorations. Wedding venues are often stark and bare until you add thousands of dollars of flowers and decoration. Beck Chapel was perfect just as it was. Skipping the decorations saved us a TON.

4. Find an all inclusive venue – We paid $300 to get married at Beck Chapel (a pretty big amount of money for a ceremony venue considering many people pay nothing), but that fee included the organ, organist, and a curator who organized our ceremony. The fact that we didn’t have to pay for flowers or a musician offset the high price of the venue. When you’re shopping for ceremony venues, find out what’s included with each and figure that into your final decision. Of course, if you’re like me, and you absolutely fall in love with one place over all others, then shuffle around your budget so you can afford to get married there.

5. If you’re on a really tight budget, don’t rule out getting married at home – My sister opted to have her wedding at my parents’ house. A wedding at home doesn’t have to be like the extravagant affairs you see on “Bravo” with millions of dollars in catering and decorations. There’s something very intimate about a wedding at home, and it can be the perfect solution for a private, affordable ceremony. Canopy and chair rentals are cost-effective considering the fact that your ceremony venue will double as a reception venue.

Come back next week for tips on planning an elegant reception without spending a fortune!