Advice needed: Choosing an infant car seat for our tiny car

Thanks to the reviews in Baby Bargains (affiliate link), extensive research, and a visit to some baby stores to test them out, we’ve narrowed down our choices for infant car seats to two options.

We opted to choose an infant car seat instead of a rear-facing convertible that will last longer because we’d like to have the option to use the seat as an infant carrier. With the history of giant babies in our families, I doubt we’ll want to lug him around in an awkward 10-pound car seat for very long. But I think in the very beginning it will be handy to be able to lift him out of the car and carry him without uncovering him, especially since he’ll be born at the beginning of a very cold Midwestern winter.

A few weeks ago, we were pretty sure we were set on the Graco SnugRide 35 (affiliate link). It has an A-rating for safety and usability in Baby Bargains, and it’s a top seller. I like that it’s safe to use until the baby is 35 pounds or 32 inches, which means we should be able to get through most of his first year without replacing his car seat. We probably won’t be using it as a carrier for that long, but the longer I can use this seat, the better. I also like that it’s compatible with a wide range of stroller frames and other baby gear. We’re opting to skip the travel system and use a sling exclusively for at least the first few months, but I like having the option to get the stroller later if for some reason baby wearing just isn’t working for us.

We made this decision without ever seeing the car seats in person, though. So Saturday, we took a short trip to the nearest baby store (about 45 minutes away), and checked out our options.

We liked the SnugRide 35. But. For comparison, we also looked at another high-rated infant seat/carrier: the Chicco Keyfit 30 (affiliate link). The Keyfit has a weight limit of 30 pounds and a height guideline of 30 inches. It won’t last quite as long as the SnugRide, but I think the difference is negligible.

The biggest difference between the two is size of the actual seat. The Keyfit felt much lighter. I found out when we got home that the difference is only about a pound, but it felt much lighter than that. I’m guessing when you add a 10-15 pound baby to the seat, every pound counts.

More importantly, it was about 2-3 inches more compact than the SnugRide 35. It’s also safe to leave the handle up when the Keyfit is installed in the in-car base. The SnugRide 35 handle must be down in the locked position, which adds even more length to the seat.

We weren’t able to take the seats out to our car to test the fit. This is our main concern: we share a single vehicle, and it’s a Hyundai Accent. It’s a four-door, but it’s still a pretty small, sub-compact car. We’re concerned that the extra bulk and the handle on the SnugRide 35 might make for a tight squeeze in our backseat.

Tony much preferred the Keyfit. He said it felt lighter and easier to carry, and since he’ll likely be saddled with lugging the infant carrier more often than me, I’m inclined to let him choose. But I’m bothered by the compatibility issues with the Keyfit. We’d rather avoid getting a stroller frame for the infant carrier, but if the need arises, I like that the SnugRide offers so many options. Our options for the Keyfit are pretty limited.

Do any of you have any experience using the SnugRide 35 or the Chicco Keyfit 30 in a sub-compact car (particularly a Hyundai Accent)? Or do you have any feedback on either seat in general? I’m hoping your feedback will push us over the edge for either seat, because right now we’re torn.

Happy place

Thank you so much for your encouragement yesterday. Sometimes I just need a reminder of how worthwhile all of the obstacles will be.

I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend dreaming of cool, clean autumn air, and reminding myself that this year I’ll finally get to experience the Indiana fall I’ve missed so much for the past three years. (Bonus: I’ll be much closer to my due date.)

I think it’s safe to blame the hormones

Vivid dreams are a side effect of pregnancy for which I wasn’t prepared. Most of the time, they’re wacky (like the other night when I dreamed that Michael Phelps towed my sinking cruise ship to shore, rescuing everyone on board). But last night, it was bittersweet.

In the dream, it was fall. Crisp, cool air replaced the stagnant, wet heat outside right now. Tony and I were going on a trip somewhere exciting. It was sunny and beautiful, and I felt well. I felt light and cheery and good in a way that my body hasn’t felt for, oh, about 5 months now.

When I woke up, it was a bitter reminder of the stark contrast between how my body feels now, and how I used to feel when my biggest complaint in the morning was that I didn’t feel like going to the gym. What I wouldn’t give to put in 3 miles on a treadmill now, but I feel too heavy, too sick, too exhausted all. the. time.

It’s not that nobody warned me. I witnessed my sisters as they endured 9+ months of discomfort during pregnancy. I knew I’d likely face the same fate. But I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand what will happen to you during pregnancy until you’ve experienced it yourself. I know I wasn’t prepared.

And yes, I know, I know, it’s all worth it. Unfortunately, when you’re pregnant for the first time, there’s no real frame of reference. Like pregnancy, parenthood is something that’s impossible to understand or grasp until you experience it. So for now, I’m feeling a whole lot of discomfort with only a vague understanding of what awaits at the finish line.

I am completely aware of how lucky I am. That’s why I’ve tried really hard to keep my complaining to myself. We decided we’d like to have a baby, and a month later I was pregnant. That alone is a feat considering how many people struggle for months and even years with infertility. So far, the baby is healthy and thriving despite my discomfort. I quit my full-time job pretty early in the pregnancy to begin a freelance career, so I won’t have to worry about returning to an office after the baby is born. And Tony is about as patient and forgiving as a husband can be, even when I don’t deserve it (especially when I don’t deserve it). He cooks and cleans and takes care of me on the days when I’m too sick to get up (and yes, I’m still having those days, even at 22 weeks).

I’m fully aware that I’m lucky, which is why I choose not to write most days instead of writing what I’m feeling. But the truth is, I struggle to feel grateful. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I’m human, and it’s hard to feel grateful after 5 months of what feels like stomach flu. It’s hard to feel grateful as I swell to twice my previous size. It’s hard to feel grateful as I struggle to sleep at night and concentrate during the day. I know it’s not supposed to be easy, but somehow the inability to feel grateful is the hardest part.

And then I feel guilty about it. I remind myself of how lucky I am, and I feel guilty because it’s so hard for me to appreciate it right now. It’s a vicious cycle, and I suspect that it will continue at least until the baby is born (and likely beyond).

Despite the guilt, I have to admit — I hate being pregnant. I know how sad this will seem to the many women who enjoy the whole process, but I am not one of them. It has been a roller coaster ride with fewer ups than downs, and although I’m barely halfway through it, I’m already counting down the days until it’s over.

I am miserable most of the time. I don’t feel like myself. I snap at my husband over the stupidest things. I shout at my dog for annoying me when all he’s trying to do is comfort me the only way he knows how. Lifting myself from bed in the morning feels like running a marathon; I feel so heavy, and my muscles and joints are so stiff. I’m constantly overheated. I’m depressed. And then there’s the continued nausea and constant pain, of course.

I can’t help but feel like I’m having some sort of allergic reaction to my unborn child. Thankfully, he seems to be doing fine, despite the fact that my body is rejecting his presence so violently.

So. Why don’t you tell me your favorite thing about having kids? Because I sure could use a reminder of why this will all be worth it in the end.

Photo by cglatz

A few things on my mind

Forgive me, but I don’t have a regular post lined up for today. I do, however, have a ton of things on my mind. So how about I share them?

  • I feel like I’m melting. It’s another 90-degree day in Indiana (as I’m sure it is in many other parts of the country), and the heat is 100 times less tolerable now that I’m pregnant. For the past three years when we were living in North Carolina, the temperatures were even warmer than they are here, and we lived on the third floor. Yet I was reasonably comfortable with the thermostat set on 78-80 degrees. Now it’s set on 75 degrees, and I’m so uncomfortable that I’m fighting the strong urge to turn it down to 70 and sit under a vent. I am counting down the minutes to fall.
  • I’m transitioning to a work-at-home schedule, and I’m slammed with work this week. I’m glad that there’s a lot for me to do right now, but it’s a lot harder to organize my time now that I don’t have clear boundaries between the office and home. I’m working on it, but I think it’s going to be a struggle for the first few weeks.
  • Now that I’ve got a little more time on my hands (and we’re trying to save more money), I’m back into the drugstore game. I briefly tried my hand at couponing and drug storing a few years back (when I cleared out my coupon organizer, most of them expired at the end of 2008), but it was kind of a flop. I just didn’t have the time or motivation to devote to it. But it went really well this week! In fact, I got all this for $25 today. And we went ahead and subscribed to the Sunday edition of the local paper so we don’t have to worry about running out to pick it up every week. (It’s also about $1 cheaper per issue than the newsstand price.) Here’s hoping I can stick with it this time.
  • For the first half of my pregnancy, I didn’t have a hard time giving up all of the things I’m not supposed to have. Now, though, I’m missing Diet Coke pretty desperately. I wasn’t even drinking that much of it in the months leading up to the pregnancy, but for some reason I’ve been craving it lately. Even though I know a little caffeine is okay at this point, I can’t bring myself to ingest the aspartame. And sadly, sugar sodas just don’t cut it. Harumph.
  • A mix-up at the post office has led to all of my in-laws mail coming to our address. This is the second time the post office has screwed up mail forwarding for us in the past three months. Ugh.

In short, I’m in a bit of a funk. What’s new with you?

How do you handle unsatisfactory service?

Due to remarkably bad timing, Howie was due for his vaccinations and heartworm test this month, just two weeks after we moved. So we had to start hunting around for a new vet last week. As if we didn’t have enough going on right now.

After reading some online reviews, it didn’t seem that there was a clear leader in service in our new town. Most vets require an exam for a new “patient,” so I started making phone calls to find the vet who offered the best prices. If I wasn’t so pressed for time, I would have made more of an effort to ask pet owners in town who they recommend, but things have just been so crazy. So I made an appointment with the office with the best prices.

It’s not always a good idea to make decisions based solely on price. This is one of those times.

Howie has never shown aggression to anyone. In the three years we’ve had him, we have never had an issue with him at a vet’s office or a groomer. He’s not particularly comfortable with strangers poking around at him in those settings, but he’s never growled or snapped, and the animal technicians who’ve handled him in the past have never had a problem getting him to do what they need him to do. They can distinguish nerves from aggression, and they’ll typically work their magic to get the job done even though he’s skittish.

These people, though? It’s like they’d never handled a nervous dog in their lives. They tittered around the office waving treats at him, and when he wouldn’t sit completely still, they refused to examine him or vaccinate him.

I grew up with dogs. When I was a teenager, I was usually the one who took our family pets to the vet. I have never seen a dog wag his tail while a vet sticks a thermometer up his butt. Most dogs are just nervous during vet visits. But most professional animal technicians know how to handle the situation.

I’ve dealt with a dog who showed vet aggression. When I was a teenager, my family had a Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix. He was a sweet dog, but one summer he became gravely ill. He couldn’t keep food down, he was in a lot of pain, and he lost about a third of his body weight in a few months. There were many tests and vet visits, and he made it clear that he did not want to be handled by strangers by growling and even snapping. I completely understood when they made the decision to muzzle him. I don’t expect the vets or vet technicians to put themselves in harm’s way, and dogs are animals, after all. Animals that can bite.

But seriously. This was not the situation with Howie. He was nervous, but he wasn’t aggressive. I even got down on the floor and held his head with his face thisclose to mine. He wasn’t going to bite or even snap. He was just squirming around. If they had wanted to muzzle him, I would have been fine with it. They didn’t want to do that, though. They just didn’t want to deal with him. I have never seen animal professionals who seemed to have so little experience wrangling nervous animals. Even the groomers at PetsMart will usually just grab Howie, tell him to chill out, and do their jobs.

I held him while a vet tech took his temperature, and that’s about as far as the exam went. The vet came in and took at look at his mouth from about five feet away while I held him, and she said his teeth looked fine. But then she said they wouldn’t be able to vaccinate him or trim his nails because he was just “too nervous.”

He was due for vaccines, though. So what did they do? They packaged them up in a bag and sent them home with us. I mean, what? Is that even legal? They’re nasal vaccines, so it’s not like we have to stick him, but I still have no idea what I’m doing. Because, you know, I’m NOT A VET. So we’ll see how that goes.

We were charged half price for his vaccinations, and I didn’t expect to be billed for an exam since they didn’t really perform one. But of course, when they handed me the bill, there was an exam charge. I argued with them a little, but they basically said it wasn’t their fault that the dog wouldn’t cooperate and I had to pay for their time. What could I do? I paid the bill.

Then the icing on the cake: they refused to give me a prescription for his heartworm prevention medication. We always purchase his medication online, because the prices are so much better than at the vet’s office. They told me they “don’t do business” with online pet drugstores. Um, okay.

So my options were to either pay their higher prices for medication or make Howie an appointment with another vet who would allow us to order his medication online, because I’d need the vet to sign off on it to get the medication. I begrudgingly bought the heartworm medication in the office, but I’ll be ordering his flea prevention online because it doesn’t require a prescription.

Now I ask, what would you do if you were me? The whole experience was terrible. We were charged for an exam they didn’t perform, we have no idea if his vaccines will be administered properly because we don’t know what we’re doing, and we were forced to buy medication from them (I’m not even sure if that’s legal), and I feel like I have no recourse. What would you do?

Baby Bargains: A completely unsolicited review

When I started researching big baby items like cribs and car seats, several moms recommended that I invest in Baby Bargains (affiliate link) by Denise and Alan Fields. They’re the parents of two children who want to help new moms sort through the marketing jargon and mommy guilt to find the best, safest baby gear at the most affordable prices possible. Sounded right up my alley!

It wasn’t available at my library, so I went ahead and ordered it on Amazon for about $12. I figure I can pass it along to another expectant mom when I’m done to score some good karma points. (Stay tuned, I may even host a giveaway when I’m finished shopping.) It arrived yesterday, and after flipping through some of the main chapters, I am definitely impressed.

Aside from some pretty common sense money-saving tips (“Just because your store’s registry checklist recommends it doesn’t mean you need it!”), the book’s most useful sections are reviews of brands and specific products based on interviews with real parents, safety ratings, and value.

Because recalls and safety recommendations change so frequently, the publisher has issued 8 different editions to update. The version I have was published this year, and the cribs section even mentions the recent recalls of drop-side cribs (though it doesn’t appear they’d been taken off the market completely at press time).

It’s also worth noting that a disclaimer at the beginning of the book states that “Baby Bargains” is ad-free, and no manufacturer or brand paid any money to receive an endorsement. The authors’ recommendations are based solely on their own findings after extensive research and interviews with real parents. I like that!

When I cracked open the book, the first thing I read was the chapter on cribs. I’ve been struggling with whether I should go ahead and get an inexpensive off-brand crib or invest in a pricier high-end brand. I was happy to see that the authors confirm what I already suspected — all cribs sold in the United States adhere to the same basic safety guidelines, which change so frequently that even the most expensive, highly rated crib could be recalled within a year. So price and safety have absolutely no relationship.

What does matter, though, is the specific brand’s safety ratings and track record. The book includes a huge list of crib brands, and I was surprised to see that many of them were the off brands I was considering.

Unfortunately, the crib I’d tentatively chosen (an off-brand tied to baby furniture manufacturers Dorel), received a big fat F. Apparently, the company sells cribs under a long list of brand names because they’ve been plagued with so many recalls and safety issues in their history, including a massive recall in 2008 that resulted in 320,000 cribs being taken off the market. So yeah. No amount of money saved is worth the risk.

I hunted around and found another nursery furniture set for roughly the same price, only its manufacturer (Nursery 101, a subsidiary of LaJobi) received an A-. Much better. After reading the reviews, I can now order my value crib with confidence.

I haven’t had a chance to read the rest of the chapters in depth, but after thumbing through, I’m sure I’ll find a wealth of information about the other items I need.

My only beef so far? Their chapter on diapers compares the cost of the most expensive cloth diapering methods possible (diaper service and pricey diapers) with disposables. I don’t think this is a fair comparison since the difference between a diaper service and laundering at home is so drastic, but whatever.

They also only discuss the savings in the first year with no mention of the fact that disposables will cost close to the same amount in the second year while the second year in cloth will cost drastically less depending on your system. Methinks the authors are disposable loyalists. But they do include extensive information on different types of cloth diapers and even laundering tips from seasoned cloth diaperers, so I can’t complain too much.

If you can find a copy at your library or even buy one yourself, I definitely recommend it.

Life-changing chocolate banana smoothie

One of my favorite indulgences is the Starbucks Banana Chocolate Vivanno. Sadly, I no longer live near a Starbucks (probably a good thing since my frequent cravings would lead me to drink lethal amounts of decaf and cost us a fortune).

The good news is I stumbled across this recipe in Real Simple magazine a few months ago. (I can’t find a link, but I know it was in the magazine, maybe in March?). It’s so simple, absolutely delicious, and it tastes just like the Banana Chocolate Vivanno for a fraction of the price.

For two servings:

  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
  • 1 banana
  • 1 cup ice
  • Blend until smooth.

To really mimic Starbucks, add some coffee or espresso, but you’d have to experiment with the flavor to get it right. Tony and I add vanilla yogurt to thicken it up. You could also add powdered protein or fiber to give it a little more nutritional punch.

I think this may be the official drink of my pregnancy.

Photo by roboppy

Baby “stuff” sure does add up

This weekend, Tony and I started the arduous process of baby shopping. Our families are kindly planning a couple of baby showers, which means we should have a little help when it comes to acquiring what we’ll need, but I was still hoping to keep things to a minimum. We are living in an apartment, after all, and we’ll eventually have to move all this stuff.

So Sunday morning I began pouring over all of the baby checklists available and trying to decide what exactly I needed to have, and what I wanted to have. I finally condensed it to a list of essentials — for now anyway. I’ll be breastfeeding and cloth diapering, so our feeding and diapering needs will change as the baby grows.

We also made the decision to start with an infant car seat that doubles as a carrier since he’ll be born in the early winter. It’s true that convertible car seats will hold the baby for longer, but the thought of waking a sleeping baby to carry him out into the cold in the middle of January does not appeal to me. So we’ll worry about getting him a new seat when he hits the weight limit. For now, I’m focusing on getting us through the first year (or so).

There are some items that I’m not sure I even want, but I’ve been urged by many moms to suck it up and get them (ahem, I’m looking at you bulky, space-eating stroller). Two of the biggest items, the crib and the car seat, have been promised as gifts from our parents, so registering involved choosing a lot of little stuff.

All of this shopping is fun, but overwhelming. It may not seem like a lot to moms who’ve spent the past year (or several) acquiring baby things, but it sure does look like a lot of new stuff to someone who’s starting from zero.

Despite all that, I’m looking forward to actually getting some of it. This baby feels more real every day (especially now that I can feel him bopping around in there), and I can’t wait to get his room all set up and ready for him to come home.

Here’s the list I brought with me to the stores. I was intentionally vague about things like clothing. It seems every time we see our parents, they’ve bought some new clothing item for the baby, and we’re guilty of picking cute things up here and there when we see them. I suspect this will only get worse now that we know it’s a boy, and it will probably get even worse in the fall when stores begin carrying warmer baby clothes. So I don’t think we’ll have to worry about the baby running around naked for at least the first, oh, 8 years.

Big stuff

  • Crib
  • Pack and play
  • Infant car seat
  • Stroller
  • Swing
  • Baby carrier/sling
  • Bassinet (donated second-hand from my sister)

Bedding

  • Crib mattress
  • Quilted mattress pad
  • Waterproof mattress covers
  • Crib sheets
  • Receiving blankets

Feeding

  • Bottles
  • Pump (currently seeking suggestions for a good one under $100.)
  • Burp cloths

Bathing

  • Baby wash
  • Washcloths
  • Nail clippers

Diapering

  • Diaper covers (4)
  • Prefold diapers (24)
  • All-in-one/pocket diapers (12)
  • Cloth wipes (24)
  • Diaper bag
  • Diaper pail

Clothing

  • Sleep sacks/swaddlers
  • Onesies
  • Pants
  • Socks
  • Snowsuit/coat

Now it’s your turn. What did you find indispensable in the first year of your baby’s life?

Photo by photoann

Assembling a home from scratch

Last weekend, Tony and I finally moved into an apartment in the city where he’ll be teaching this fall (and hopefully spring). We were very lucky to have lots of help from both of our families.

We’ve only been married for a little over two years now, but in that time we’ve built a frugal collection of furniture and other items to fill our home. I was so proud of the compliments we received as our parents helped us unpack and arrange our furniture.

“I love this table.”

“What a lovely lamp.”

“This bed is so nice.”

In our culture, it seems that pride in the things we own most often comes from the expense. Many people collect fancy, overpriced items to fill their homes, and the things they own become a status symbol for their financial success.

I was proud for the opposite reason. Each time someone commented on a piece of furniture or some other item in our home, I was struck by the fact that we’ve assembled all of these things from a hodgepodge of resources — and most of them were very inexpensive or free.

  • The full-sized washer and dryer that were given to us after helping some friends move into a new home.
  • The couch that I bought second-hand for $30.
  • The bed that was passed down to Tony from his grandparents.
  • The coffee table and side tables that were given to me in college by the older couple who owned the bowling alley where I worked.
  • The chair and ottoman that were given to me instead of being dropped off at the thrift store after I saw them in the back of a co-worker’s truck.
  • The television that we bought second-hand from a friend.

The prospect of furnishing a home can be overwhelming when you’re first starting out. Furniture stores prey on newlyweds and new homeowners with 0% interest deals. It’s easy to walk into a furniture store and spend thousands on brand new furniture and appliances. But with a little imagination and ingenuity, it’s just as easy to assemble a beautiful home for next to nothing.

If you’re planning a move, now is the time to start scouting out yard sales, browsing Craigslist, and letting friends and family know that you’re on the lookout for gently used home furnishings. Look at each piece you find with a creative eye. It may look old and worn, but ask yourself if it would benefit from a new coat of paint or an inexpensive couch cover. You’ll be amazed at what you can find for drastically lower prices than in stores. And each well loved item will add a little extra character and history to your home.