Category Archives: Life

How do you handle unsatisfactory service?

Due to remarkably bad timing, Howie was due for his vaccinations and heartworm test this month, just two weeks after we moved. So we had to start hunting around for a new vet last week. As if we didn’t have enough going on right now.

After reading some online reviews, it didn’t seem that there was a clear leader in service in our new town. Most vets require an exam for a new “patient,” so I started making phone calls to find the vet who offered the best prices. If I wasn’t so pressed for time, I would have made more of an effort to ask pet owners in town who they recommend, but things have just been so crazy. So I made an appointment with the office with the best prices.

It’s not always a good idea to make decisions based solely on price. This is one of those times.

Howie has never shown aggression to anyone. In the three years we’ve had him, we have never had an issue with him at a vet’s office or a groomer. He’s not particularly comfortable with strangers poking around at him in those settings, but he’s never growled or snapped, and the animal technicians who’ve handled him in the past have never had a problem getting him to do what they need him to do. They can distinguish nerves from aggression, and they’ll typically work their magic to get the job done even though he’s skittish.

These people, though? It’s like they’d never handled a nervous dog in their lives. They tittered around the office waving treats at him, and when he wouldn’t sit completely still, they refused to examine him or vaccinate him.

I grew up with dogs. When I was a teenager, I was usually the one who took our family pets to the vet. I have never seen a dog wag his tail while a vet sticks a thermometer up his butt. Most dogs are just nervous during vet visits. But most professional animal technicians know how to handle the situation.

I’ve dealt with a dog who showed vet aggression. When I was a teenager, my family had a Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix. He was a sweet dog, but one summer he became gravely ill. He couldn’t keep food down, he was in a lot of pain, and he lost about a third of his body weight in a few months. There were many tests and vet visits, and he made it clear that he did not want to be handled by strangers by growling and even snapping. I completely understood when they made the decision to muzzle him. I don’t expect the vets or vet technicians to put themselves in harm’s way, and dogs are animals, after all. Animals that can bite.

But seriously. This was not the situation with Howie. He was nervous, but he wasn’t aggressive. I even got down on the floor and held his head with his face thisclose to mine. He wasn’t going to bite or even snap. He was just squirming around. If they had wanted to muzzle him, I would have been fine with it. They didn’t want to do that, though. They just didn’t want to deal with him. I have never seen animal professionals who seemed to have so little experience wrangling nervous animals. Even the groomers at PetsMart will usually just grab Howie, tell him to chill out, and do their jobs.

I held him while a vet tech took his temperature, and that’s about as far as the exam went. The vet came in and took at look at his mouth from about five feet away while I held him, and she said his teeth looked fine. But then she said they wouldn’t be able to vaccinate him or trim his nails because he was just “too nervous.”

He was due for vaccines, though. So what did they do? They packaged them up in a bag and sent them home with us. I mean, what? Is that even legal? They’re nasal vaccines, so it’s not like we have to stick him, but I still have no idea what I’m doing. Because, you know, I’m NOT A VET. So we’ll see how that goes.

We were charged half price for his vaccinations, and I didn’t expect to be billed for an exam since they didn’t really perform one. But of course, when they handed me the bill, there was an exam charge. I argued with them a little, but they basically said it wasn’t their fault that the dog wouldn’t cooperate and I had to pay for their time. What could I do? I paid the bill.

Then the icing on the cake: they refused to give me a prescription for his heartworm prevention medication. We always purchase his medication online, because the prices are so much better than at the vet’s office. They told me they “don’t do business” with online pet drugstores. Um, okay.

So my options were to either pay their higher prices for medication or make Howie an appointment with another vet who would allow us to order his medication online, because I’d need the vet to sign off on it to get the medication. I begrudgingly bought the heartworm medication in the office, but I’ll be ordering his flea prevention online because it doesn’t require a prescription.

Now I ask, what would you do if you were me? The whole experience was terrible. We were charged for an exam they didn’t perform, we have no idea if his vaccines will be administered properly because we don’t know what we’re doing, and we were forced to buy medication from them (I’m not even sure if that’s legal), and I feel like I have no recourse. What would you do?

Baby “stuff” sure does add up

This weekend, Tony and I started the arduous process of baby shopping. Our families are kindly planning a couple of baby showers, which means we should have a little help when it comes to acquiring what we’ll need, but I was still hoping to keep things to a minimum. We are living in an apartment, after all, and we’ll eventually have to move all this stuff.

So Sunday morning I began pouring over all of the baby checklists available and trying to decide what exactly I needed to have, and what I wanted to have. I finally condensed it to a list of essentials — for now anyway. I’ll be breastfeeding and cloth diapering, so our feeding and diapering needs will change as the baby grows.

We also made the decision to start with an infant car seat that doubles as a carrier since he’ll be born in the early winter. It’s true that convertible car seats will hold the baby for longer, but the thought of waking a sleeping baby to carry him out into the cold in the middle of January does not appeal to me. So we’ll worry about getting him a new seat when he hits the weight limit. For now, I’m focusing on getting us through the first year (or so).

There are some items that I’m not sure I even want, but I’ve been urged by many moms to suck it up and get them (ahem, I’m looking at you bulky, space-eating stroller). Two of the biggest items, the crib and the car seat, have been promised as gifts from our parents, so registering involved choosing a lot of little stuff.

All of this shopping is fun, but overwhelming. It may not seem like a lot to moms who’ve spent the past year (or several) acquiring baby things, but it sure does look like a lot of new stuff to someone who’s starting from zero.

Despite all that, I’m looking forward to actually getting some of it. This baby feels more real every day (especially now that I can feel him bopping around in there), and I can’t wait to get his room all set up and ready for him to come home.

Here’s the list I brought with me to the stores. I was intentionally vague about things like clothing. It seems every time we see our parents, they’ve bought some new clothing item for the baby, and we’re guilty of picking cute things up here and there when we see them. I suspect this will only get worse now that we know it’s a boy, and it will probably get even worse in the fall when stores begin carrying warmer baby clothes. So I don’t think we’ll have to worry about the baby running around naked for at least the first, oh, 8 years.

Big stuff

  • Crib
  • Pack and play
  • Infant car seat
  • Stroller
  • Swing
  • Baby carrier/sling
  • Bassinet (donated second-hand from my sister)

Bedding

  • Crib mattress
  • Quilted mattress pad
  • Waterproof mattress covers
  • Crib sheets
  • Receiving blankets

Feeding

  • Bottles
  • Pump (currently seeking suggestions for a good one under $100.)
  • Burp cloths

Bathing

  • Baby wash
  • Washcloths
  • Nail clippers

Diapering

  • Diaper covers (4)
  • Prefold diapers (24)
  • All-in-one/pocket diapers (12)
  • Cloth wipes (24)
  • Diaper bag
  • Diaper pail

Clothing

  • Sleep sacks/swaddlers
  • Onesies
  • Pants
  • Socks
  • Snowsuit/coat

Now it’s your turn. What did you find indispensable in the first year of your baby’s life?

Photo by photoann

Assembling a home from scratch

Last weekend, Tony and I finally moved into an apartment in the city where he’ll be teaching this fall (and hopefully spring). We were very lucky to have lots of help from both of our families.

We’ve only been married for a little over two years now, but in that time we’ve built a frugal collection of furniture and other items to fill our home. I was so proud of the compliments we received as our parents helped us unpack and arrange our furniture.

“I love this table.”

“What a lovely lamp.”

“This bed is so nice.”

In our culture, it seems that pride in the things we own most often comes from the expense. Many people collect fancy, overpriced items to fill their homes, and the things they own become a status symbol for their financial success.

I was proud for the opposite reason. Each time someone commented on a piece of furniture or some other item in our home, I was struck by the fact that we’ve assembled all of these things from a hodgepodge of resources — and most of them were very inexpensive or free.

  • The full-sized washer and dryer that were given to us after helping some friends move into a new home.
  • The couch that I bought second-hand for $30.
  • The bed that was passed down to Tony from his grandparents.
  • The coffee table and side tables that were given to me in college by the older couple who owned the bowling alley where I worked.
  • The chair and ottoman that were given to me instead of being dropped off at the thrift store after I saw them in the back of a co-worker’s truck.
  • The television that we bought second-hand from a friend.

The prospect of furnishing a home can be overwhelming when you’re first starting out. Furniture stores prey on newlyweds and new homeowners with 0% interest deals. It’s easy to walk into a furniture store and spend thousands on brand new furniture and appliances. But with a little imagination and ingenuity, it’s just as easy to assemble a beautiful home for next to nothing.

If you’re planning a move, now is the time to start scouting out yard sales, browsing Craigslist, and letting friends and family know that you’re on the lookout for gently used home furnishings. Look at each piece you find with a creative eye. It may look old and worn, but ask yourself if it would benefit from a new coat of paint or an inexpensive couch cover. You’ll be amazed at what you can find for drastically lower prices than in stores. And each well loved item will add a little extra character and history to your home.

Settling in

We moved into our new apartment on Saturday, and let me tell you, pregnancy made moving a lot harder than it’s ever been. We hired movers to help us unload the truck, and our families came to help us unpack and arrange furniture, so I wasn’t doing any heavy lifting, of course. Just the small amount of lifting and moving that I did was enough to give me a killer backache Sunday and Monday, though.

Between moving preparations and ultrasounds, we’ve been going pretty nonstop for over a week. Now that most of our apartment is unpacked, we’re enjoying a few days of much deserved relaxation.

So far we love the town and our new apartment. There’s a huge library and a cute downtown district with more stores and restaurants than we expected. I think we’ll be very happy here.

Unfortunately, we won’t have Internet access at home until Friday. The library offers free wi-fi and depending how I’m feeling, I may pop in a few times this week to update my blog and check email. Otherwise, I’ll be taking it easy and getting settled for the rest of the week.

It’s a …

BOY! :)

Most importantly, our ultrasound showed that everything is developing normally, and he’s nice and healthy.

In other news, we are still waiting for confirmation that we’ll be able to move into our new place on Saturday. With any luck, we’ll be moving this weekend, which means I’ll be offline for at least a few days, but possibly a little longer. If we’re not moving Saturday, I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll be moved in by Monday at the latest.

If we’re looking at more than a few days without Internet connection, I’ll set up a temporary office at the nearest free wi-fi hotspot so I can continue to update until we have Internet connected in our apartment, but please be patient for a few days at least while we get settled.

Have a great weekend, and send us good moving vibes if you can. It’s been a stressful moving process already, and it’s nowhere near over yet.

Photo by nova_hokie

Take a guess

We’re on our way now for our ultrasound, and hopefully we’ll find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. I figured I’d give you all a chance to take a guess just for fun!

Here are some stats:

  • I’ve been nauseated pretty much non-stop since about 6 weeks, but that probably doesn’t mean anything because my mom and two of my three sisters battled prolonged morning sickness with all of their pregnancies, both boys and girls.
  • Heartburn started early — I think around 10 weeks? It’s pretty severe, and it seems like pretty much anything I eat causes it.
  • I started showing early at about 12 weeks, and I’m carrying low so far.
  • My hair and skin are a mess. Frizzy hair, dry skin. But this also may have more to do with my nausea/fatigue than it does the baby. I just don’t have the energy to primp like I used to.
  • My cravings have been all over the place, but due to the nausea, they’ve been very limited. The biggest thing has been fruit (peaches especially) and anything with cheese.
  • In the beginning, I was sure it was a boy. But as we get closer to the ultrasound date, I’m less sure. After all, there’s a 50/50 chance!

So I guess I didn’t give you much information, but it’s really all guessing at this point anyway, right. My official guess is that it’s a boy. Even though I’m less sure than I was in the beginning, I still just have a feeling. Tony thinks it’s a girl, but I think he’s just being contentious because I’ve been so adamant that it’s a boy. :)

Either way, wish us luck for a healthy baby who’s not so shy that we can’t tell.

Preparing to move again

We spent Thursday and Friday scouting out apartments in the Fort Wayne area. After a lot of frustration and stress, we found a place! It’s in a small town outside Fort Wayne. Two bedrooms, two full bathrooms, washer/dryer hookups, and a reasonable pet policy. And the rent is almost half what we budgeted!

Our application is pending, and I’m crossing my fingers that everything goes smoothly. We should know for sure by Wednesday, and we could be moving as early as this Saturday.

I’m excited to finally get settled, but I’m also dreading the move. Most of our stuff remains in boxes in Tony’s parents’ garage, but things we need for daily life like clothing are sort of scattered everywhere. So getting everything together to move in the next few days is a pretty overwhelming task. Plus it’s never fun to unload a moving van in the middle of summer.

But I’m hoping to be settled into our new place by this time next week! Cross your fingers for us.

Apartment hunting simplified

There is nothing I hate more than the instability of moving, and I especially hate the long, arduous process of finding a new place to live.

I’m not usually a procrastinator when it comes to this sort of thing. But we’d just moved, spent two weeks in Europe, and I was struggling with morning sickness and pregnancy-induced laziness, so I decided the apartment search could wait until after July 4th. It is now July 7. We’re moving in 3 weeks. Yikes.

Sadly, I’ve run out of procrastination time. So tomorrow we’re heading up to Fort Wayne to scope out some apartments. We’ll hopefully have a lease signed and a move date set before we come home.

This isn’t the first time I’ve used my abbreviated method for apartment hunting. We drove to North Carolina and chose our apartment in two days last time we moved, and it ended up working for us for three years. Hopefully we’ll be that lucky this time. Here’s how I’ll be spending my day today and tomorrow:

Scope out apartments online before visiting.

If you’re moving to a new city, this step is crucial. But even if you’re making a local move, you can save yourself a lot of time by eliminating apartments or rental homes that won’t work for you. There are many online services that allow you to search apartments by price, amenities, and other features. My favorite is Rent.com, because they offer a $100 bonus if you tell your landlord that you found the apartment on the site. (We moved into a place in August, and received our bonus in November.)

Make an itinerary based on locations.

If you’re traveling to a new city to look at apartments, take the time to map out the places you want to see. Visit them in an order that makes sense to save yourself time and gas mileage. There’s no sense criss-crossing the town three or four times to visit multiple apartments.

Ask to see the actual unit.

In some states, landlords won’t show you an actual unit until the previous tenant has moved out and you’re ready to move in. If this is the case, don’t sign a lease until you’ve seen the unit. It’s easy to dress up a model, but you need to see where you’ll be living to make sure any problems will be fixed before you move in. If you can’t see the unit until the tenant moves out, but you have a really good feeling about the place, see if you can put down a deposit to hold it until the tenant moves out and you can inspect the unit.

Negotiate before you’re ready to decide.

The time to strike a deal with the landlord is during the apartment hunting process before you’ve made up your mind. Leasing agents are anxious to fill empty units, and they’re often willing to make a deal to entice you to choose them, especially if you’re a reliable renter with good credit history and income. We’ve negotiated new appliances, new carpeting, reduced rent for the first month, reduced security deposits, and reduced pet fees just by asking during the tour. Don’t wait until you’re sitting in the office ready to sign the lease. Ask for these things when you’re “just looking,” and you’ll be more likely to get them.

Bring a notebook and a camera.

If you’re looking at several places, bring a notebook and a camera to help you keep things straight. Take notes about the price, amenities, pros and cons of each apartment, and snap a few pictures to help jog your memory when you’re making the decision.

Don’t be hasty.

Make sure you check out every apartment on your list before you make a decision. Leasing agents are salespeople, and they’re good at convincing possible tenants to SIGN NOW. Don’t make a decision until you’ve seen and compared all of your options.

Take time to decide.

Once you’ve seen all of your options, go somewhere quiet to compare and contrast. When we visited North Carolina, Tony and I narrowed our options down to a few favorites, then we sat down for lunch at a diner with all of our notes and thoughts. We talked about price, location, and other pros and cons before choosing the place that would best suit our needs. Looking over our notes after taking time to process all of our options made the decision a lot easier.

Be ready to seal the deal.

If you’re traveling out of town, be sure you have enough money in the bank to pay for an application fee, security deposit, and first month’s rent. Also make sure you have all the information you may need to apply, including references, pay stubs for income verification, and valid identification.

Include all special deals in the lease.

When you’re ready to sign the lease, make sure the leasing agent includes special offers that were discussed during the negotiation process. If they promised you reduced first month’s rent or a lower pet fee, make sure the lease says so. The same goes for promised renovations and other perks. If it’s not in the lease, they’re not legally obligated to provide it no matter what was said, so don’t sign until it’s all in writing.

Photo by thetruthabout

17 weeks and nothing to say

I know it’s been quiet here. Quieter than normal. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m really struggling to find the motivation to do much of anything, even something as simple as writing a blog post. This is one of many things that I hope will pass — and soon.

Unfortunately, not much has changed since my last pregnancy post, so I’ll spare you the complaining. I’m still tired, still sick, still popping Tums like candy for the constant heartburn, still waiting to feel better. I’m starting to think I might never feel healthy again.

We’ve scheduled an ultrasound, though, and we’ll find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl on July 15. I’m looking forward to that date for a couple reasons: I could really use the good baby vibes that come with finding out the sex. After that, I’ll be able to start some of the fun parts of pregnancy, like shopping for lots of tiny baby things and setting up the nursery. It’ll also mark my 19th week of pregnancy, which means I’ll officially be halfway to full term.

And now, because Kacie will kill me if I don’t post one soon, here’s my first official bump picture.