Howie turned three years old yesterday. We celebrated by completely forgetting it was his birthday until late afternoon. When it occurred to us, we called the toy we bought him a few weeks ago his early birthday gift, gave him an extra treat, and called it a day.
He’s going to have to get used to injustices like this in the coming months. I’m so sorry we’re about to ruin your life by bringing a baby into it, Howie.
Remember a few days ago when I said I’d like to have a midwife, but they’re not covered by my insurance? It turns out I was wrong. Well, EYE wasn’t wrong so much as my insurance company was wrong. Amazing, right?
Yesterday, I set about the task of finding a new doctor in Fort Wayne so I could make my next appointment with them. When I first started looking for a doctor (or midwife), I started my search with my insurance company’s directory of in-network physicians. For an in-network physician, my out-of-pocket costs will be $2,000. For someone outside the network, it would be $4,500. Big difference.
To be honest, I didn’t try very hard to find a midwife. I ran a search for certified nurse midwives (a specialty that was included in the drop-down menu for my insurance company’s directory search). When it said there were zero in-network midwives in the entire state of Indiana, I was skeptical. But I chose an OB, and moved on. I decided I’d give the OB a shot, and if I was unhappy with her, I’d explore switching to a midwife once we were settled.
When I started my search for midwives in Fort Wayne, I found a practice that interested me. Their website listed my insurance provider as one of the plans they accept, so I called to confirm. They verified that yes, they accept my insurance. I asked if it was possible that the midwives would accept different insurance plans from the obstetricians, and she said no. All physicians, midwives, and nurse practitioners in their practice accept the same insurance plans. Great!
I assumed that there was a glitch in the providers directory on the website, so I called to verify that the midwife I wanted was in-network.
As a brief aside, can I just say how much I hate talking to a recording? It’s bad enough when I have to choose my options by hitting a number on the keypad, but at least I don’t have to repeat myself a million times. My insurance company’s recorded message is the WORST. Every time I call them, the menu takes me in so many circles that I’m dizzy and frustrated by the time I talk to an actual person. I’ve actually started repeating, “Representative” over and over again just to avoid the mess.
When I finally got to talk to a real live human, I explained my situation. He responded flatly, “We don’t cover home births.”
Me: “Um. That’s fine. I don’t want a home birth. The midwife I want delivers at an in-network hospital.”
Him: “We don’t cover midwives, because they’re not licensed to deliver babies legally in Indiana.”
Um. WHAT. At that point, it became clear to me that the guy had absolutely no idea what a midwife is. So I asked as politely as I could if I could speak with someone who does, in fact, know what a midwife is. He was pretty annoyed by the request, but he transferred me.
I didn’t have much luck with the next representative. He ran a search in the database, probably using the same search tool I had used, and told me flatly that the provider I want isn’t in network, because there are no midwives in network. I told him what the insurance specialist at the midwife practice had told me about all of their physicians accepting my insurance, and he told me she was wrong. Okay.
Frustrated, I hung up and called the midwife practice again. I told the woman what happened, and she was confused. Apparently, they bill my insurance company frequently. It’s a major one, and a lot of their patients are on it. She even asked about my specific plan, and said that yep, a ton of their patients are on my very same plan. WTF?!
At this point, I was irritated and determined to straighten it out. I called the insurance company again, dealt with the insufferable menu options, and finally got to a person again. Thankfully, this representative was not a total idiot.
He explained the problem, which actually makes complete sense. Midwives don’t come up in the physician search, because they’re not physicians. They practice and bill under a physician. In that case, I don’t understand why “Certified Nurse Midwife” is a search option on their website, but whatever. He explained that I needed to find out my midwife’s attending physician, and search for him or her. If the physician is covered, the midwife is, too. Duh. I’m glad that SOMEONE at my insurance company understands how it works, because the previous two people to whom I spoke had NO IDEA.
The moral of the story? If you’re hoping to have your birth attended by a midwife, search for your midwife’s attending physician. And don’t expect your insurance company to make things easy on you.
A few weeks ago, I wrote briefly about how Tony accepted an adjunct teaching position at a small college near Fort Wayne, Indiana. At the time, the position was only offering two courses. They’ve since offered him another class, which means a tiny bit more money, but the pay is still unbearably low with no benefits or job security. It’s the best offer he’s had, so we accepted. Money will be tight, but this job is hopefully a stepping stone toward better opportunities.
The decision has led to a prolonged bout of denial and anxiety about a number of things, no doubt exacerbated by the 14-week-old fetus that I’m incubating (don’t ask how long it took my pregnant brain to figure out how to spell exacerbated, despite the fact that I think I correctly spelled it once in a 3rd-grade spelling bee). I don’t want to move yet again, especially while pregnant. I don’t want to find a new doctor, or face another year of financial and residential instability.
Most of all, though, I really don’t want to accept the fact that this decision puts us back to square one financially. It’s going to be a while before we have enough wiggle room in our budget to start saving again, unfortunately. It’s back to a bare bones budget and a sadly dwindling bank account.
We’re also back in debt. We currently owe the hospital about $2,000 for my insurance deductible. It’s money that we have, that we technically could pay right now, but letting go of that kind of cash with no income is a little too scary for me. So we’ve worked out an interest-free payment plan to pay it back over the next several months to decrease the sting a little.
I’m thankful for my health insurance, even if it is expensive, and glad that it only requires us to pay $2,000 out of pocket for my entire pregnancy. I was feeling bitter about the cost of my monthly insurance premiums until I started receiving my first bills for prenatal care. Between ultrasounds and lab work, I capped my deductible in my first appointment. So yeah. I don’t mind writing those insurance checks every month.
We have a lot of decisions to make in the next month, and a long list of to-dos during a time when I can barely force myself to get out of bed and take a shower, let alone find a new doctor, find an apartment we can afford, and get myself together enough to start substitute teaching in the fall.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that despite all the stress, I’m looking forward to moving into the home where we’ll welcome this baby in December — the place that will first house our family. The icing on the cake? We’ll get to enjoy a real fall this year; we’ll hopefully see a real live snowstorm or two this winter; and we’ll be just a short drive away from the families that were over 800 miles away just a few months ago.
Considering our budget, our next home will likely to be cramped. We might not even be able to afford a place with an extra room for a nursery. But it will be our home, the place where I’ll set up my baby’s furniture, fold his or her tiny little clothes, and prepare for a new chapter in our lives.
That doesn’t mean getting there isn’t going to be a pain in the ass.
Disclaimer: I plan to be pretty open about baby stuff here. If you’re not into the baby thing, please feel free to skip these posts. I’m trying to keep baby posts down to one a week since I know I have readers who don’t have children. I realize that with posting so light lately, it seems like a lot of my posts are baby-related. I promise that once I’m feeling better and my posting schedule gets back to normal, I’ll be balancing baby posts with finance and other fun stuff. As always, if you have questions or suggestions for topics you’d like to read about here, please send me an email.
This weekend, I’ll be 14 weeks pregnant. That means I made it through the first trimester! Yay! Unfortunately, I’m still not feeling a whole lot better. Everyone, including my doctor, keeps saying, “Any day now!” I’m thinking if I don’t feel at least a little better by next week then it’s time to call my doctor and tell her she’s a BIG LIAR.
I’m kidding. Sorta.
I’m also considering taping my days so the footage can be shown to high school health classes to caution teens about the risks of unprotected sex. Because seriously, you guys, pregnancy hasn’t been pretty for me so far.
Kidding again. But not really.
Now that I’m through the first 14 weeks, it’s time for me to start planning a little. There is so much to consider, and I don’t want to be overwhelmed, so for now I’m just starting to make general plans for the birth and how I want to care for my newborn.
With Tony teaching part-time and me working from home, it’s likely we’ll be on a pretty tight budget for at least the first year of baby’s life. Not surprisingly, a lot of my plans are focused on raising a baby frugally. But money isn’t the only thing I’m considering.
I’m feeling overwhelmed, so if you’re a mom with experience in any of these areas, I’d love your input. Let’s keep it positive, though! I don’t want to hear about why I can’t do this or that.
I’m preparing myself for an unmedicated natural birth. My mom gave birth this way four times, and it’s something that I’ve always known I wanted to do. There are a million different factors, and I realize that circumstances don’t always allow for completely natural birth, but I’m sure going to try!
I’m reading up now on how best to prepare myself for a safe natural birth, and I’m registered for a Bradley Method childbirth class starting in July. My OB is on board as much as she can be — she basically says natural is fine with her, but we’ll have to discuss induction or other options if the baby or me is in danger. I would have preferred a midwife, but unfortunately I couldn’t find a midwife in my insurance network.
Formula is expensive, guys! Breastfeeding is practically free. And studies show breastfeeding is good for mama and baby. So I’m going for it! The hospital where I’m giving birth is one of 92 in the country deemed “baby friendly” by UNICEF and the World Health Organization. That means they follow best practices that ensure a good start for moms who choose breastfeeding. Every bit helps! But I know that education and preparation are so important for successful breastfeeding, so I’m doing all I can to hold up my end.
Yep. I’m doing it! According to Green Baby Guide’s figures, cloth diapers can save you as much as $1757 over the course of your baby’s diapered years. This number may be off depending on a wide variety of factors, but money isn’t the only reason cloth diapers appeal to me. They’ll keep my newborn’s 10-12 diapers a day out of the landfills, too.
I still have a lot of research to do on the subject, and I suspect the most valuable research won’t even happen until after the baby is here and we can test different methods. But as of now, I’m drawn to a prefolds/cover system, which seems to be the cheapest and simplest option. Expect more on this topic as I learn more about it, though!
So that’s what’s been on my mind. I’m already overwhelmed, and I haven’t even started looking at cribs and car seats. Yikes.
If you’ve noticed my absence (or my complaining when I do post), then you already know that the first trimester has been challenging for me. Between constant nausea, extreme fatigue, and a long list of other completely normal but annoying symptoms, I’ll be happy to say goodbye to the first trimester next week.
After watching all three of my sisters go through difficult pregnancies, I should have been prepared for the worst when it comes to symptoms. We have a long history of rough pregnancies. Despite my discomfort, I take comfort in the fact that all of my symptoms are normal, and all of them are indicative of a strong, healthy baby in there.
I think one of the most surprising things for me so far has been how completely pregnancy has overtaken my life. I guess I always imagined it being something in the background, especially for the first few months before you start growing. But nope. Even without the nausea (which has rendered me pretty much useless on some days), I’m surprised at how much this baby has already changed my life.
For starters, my motivation seems to have taken a permanent vacation. I used to work 50 hours a week and maintain this blog, and I still had time for personal projects and housekeeping. These days, I barely have the energy to get up and get dressed, let alone tackle a mile long to do list.
The most surprising pregnancy side effect so far? Spelling. I don’t use spell checkers. I’m the person everyone asks when they need to spell a word. But the pregnancy has somehow overtaken the part of my brain devoted to spelling and left it useless. The other day, I genuinely forgot how to spell the word “tomorrow.” After typing “tommorrow” and “tommorow” I stared at it for five minutes before I finally gave up and asked Tony how to spell it. He looked at me like I was a pod person.
I’m also having trouble with the part of my brain that manages any information that isn’t necessary to my immediate survival. Facts, trivia, and even current events that used to be easy for me to remember have disappeared.
I’m hoping the baby brain is a temporary side effect.
I also wasn’t expecting to start showing this early, but I’ve already got a bump. That runs in my family, too. I think it’s a combination of short torsos and the way we carry babies. I just hope that showing early doesn’t mean I’ll get ridiculously huge.
I’ve almost made it through the first trimester, though, so that’s something to celebrate! I had my second prenatal appointment yesterday, and I heard a strong, healthy heartbeat at 150 bpm. The doctor had no trouble finding it, but she did struggle to count the beats, because my baby won’t stay still. She said that’s another sign that he or she is strong and healthy.
In the beginning I had a strong premonition that I was going to have a boy. Now as the pregnancy goes on, I feel any certainty I had about that fading. At this point, I have no strong feelings one way or the other. So I’m definitely looking forward to finding out sometime in July.
To my pregnant readers, or those of you who’ve been pregnant before, am I crazy to blame my spelling problems on the pregnancy? What kind of crazy things has pregnancy done to your brain?
Before I share the fun stuff about our trip, I thought I’d share some of the financial lessons we learned on the trip. We planned ahead, and we did a lot of things right. But we also made some mistakes.
Luckily, I knew about this one before we left. I brought my iPhone with us to Europe, but I left it on airplane mode the entire time we were there. If I had left data roaming on, my phone’s automatic updates would have racked up hundreds of dollars in overseas roaming charges.
Fortunately, I still had access to wi-fi, so I could connect my phone to the hotel wi-fi to connect to the Internet for free. This was a lifesaver when we needed directions or information. We were also able to use the Skype app to make calls home basically for free. This was a huge moneysaver since calling cards are expensive and hotel phone fees are astronomical.
I wish I’d read the fine print on the card next to our hotel phone as soon as we got to the room. When we arrived in London, I realized that I’d forgotten to notify my credit card company that we’d be traveling abroad. We planned to use the Capital
One card for most of our purchases over there to avoid overseas transaction fees, so the last thing I wanted was for the card to be shut off for suspicious activity. I used the hotel phone to call Capital One collect. Capital One agreed to accept all long distance charges for the call. The hotel still charged us around 12USD just for using their phone. Ugh.
When I finally looked at the fee card, I saw that the hotel even charges fees for local calls. This was the case in all three of the hotels we stayed in. To be safe, just avoid the hotel phones all together.
I pride myself on overestimating my budget most of the time. I like to build some cushion into the budget by assuming things will cost more than they do. Usually I’m pleasantly surprised to discover we’ve spent much less than we planned.
When we left for Europe, pretty much everything but food was paid for. I estimated $100 a day for us to eat, a number that I thought was pretty high based on our past experience, even considering the money we’d lose in the conversion. We typically spend very little for food on vacation. In this case, I was wrong, and we ended up going overbudget. It wasn’t by an astronomical amount, and it wasn’t a big deal because we’d built extra into the budget on top of my estimates.
A few months ago, I struggled with whether we should purchase London Passes for our trip. The London Pass offers admission to a ton of tourist attractions in London for one flat fee. The cost of the pass is much lower than the combined admission fees of all the attractions, but the catch is that it’s impossible to see everything in just a few days. I added up the cost of all the attractions we thought we’d see and compared it with the cost of the pass. It seemed like it would work out to be a good deal, so I went for it.
What I didn’t plan for was my pregnancy. Because I was tired and a feeling sick some days, we ended up seeing a lot less than we planned. In the end, we lost about 50USD on the passes. Blerg.
On the other hand, we bought Paris museum passes for 32 euros each and ended up getting 75 euros in admission out of each of them. Package deals aren’t always a bad deal, but you really have to do the math.
Despite these few hiccups, we stuck to the budget pretty well, especially considering how much we were able to do and see over there. If you’re planning a trip overseas, I hope you can learn from our mistakes to make your experience even more successful.
We’ve been back since last Wednesday, but I’ve been dragging my feet about getting back to my routine. Vacation was wonderful, of course, but exhausting. I spent a lot of time looking for a place to sit down as we toured the cities. But my goal was to let my pregnancy interfere with our plans as little as possible, and I think I succeeded. We saw and did almost everything on our lists, and we had the time of our lives — even if I did spend some of it feeling pretty sick.
Unfortunately, I came down with a nasty cold just a couple days before we headed home. With the cold and the jet lag that followed after our flight home, the morning sickness hit me again in full force. So I’ve been laying low for a few days getting lots of rest.
I’m 12 weeks pregnant this week, so I’m crossing my fingers that I’m almost through the worst of the nausea, fatigue, and general first trimester yuckiness. Rough pregnancies run in my family, unfortunately. My mom and two of my three sisters struggled with just about every uncomfortable pregnancy side effect in the book. In a way, watching my sisters go through it prepared me for the worst. But I suppose nothing can fully prepare you for the discomfort, so I’m learning as I go.
Right now I’m looking forward to the magical surge of energy I keep hearing about in the second trimester, because I sure could use some motivation, especially now. It looks like we’re moving again a little sooner that we thought! Tony found a part-time teaching job at a community college about 2 hours away. It’s in Indiana, and it’s about halfway between our families, so the location is good. Unfortunately, it’s part-time and temporary. That means no benefits, very low pay, and no guarantee that there will be classes available for him to teach in the spring.
We were hoping a better opportunity would come along, but he needs to build teaching experience before he can qualify for a more permanent, full-time position. Things will be tough for a couple years, but Tony will be searching for a second job and I’ll continue to bring in money through freelance ventures. We’ve lived on a tight budget before, and we can do it again.
As of now, we’re planning on moving in July so we can get settled and Tony can find a second job before his classes begin in August. I’m giving myself a couple weeks off before we start looking for a place and preparing for the move, and I’m really hoping to get past the first trimester funk before it’s time to move again. We’re leaving 99% of our boxes packed, so this time it should only be a matter of finding a place, loading up, and getting there.
I’m hoping to resume regular blogging tomorrow. Thanks so much for your patience as things have been so dead around here for the past month. I have tons of pictures and stories from our trip to share with you, and I have lots of ideas floating in my head as we prepare for our first baby on a limited budget. Stay tuned!
This is a guest post from Kacie at Sense To Save. Her son is 16 months old and she’s due with baby #2 in December, right around the time that my first baby is due.
When you discover you’re pregnant with your first child, your mind probably fills with all the cute things you’ll buy your baby. Set aside some of that baby budget to create a comfortable, stylish maternity wardrobe that will leave you feeling confident as your body changes over the coming months.
While it can be hard for frugal-minded mamas to justify spending much money on a wardrobe they will only need for a short time, remember that you don’t have to sacrifice your baby’s college fund to round out your wardrobe.
This is a guest post by Jennifer, who blogs about frugal and simple living at her blogs Getting Ahead and Our Suburban Homestead.
When Karen asked for guest posts to run while she was in Europe, I knew I had to help. I love her blog and find that we have many similar frugal thoughts. She covers frugality so well, that I thought I would write about something else – healthy eating on a budget. Not everyone can afford to eat all organic foods. While that is the healthiest, it can seem a little drastic. Here are some of things we do to eat a healthier diet while still staying within my $400 a month grocery budget for 6 people.
Reading labels is not hard exactly, but it can seem tedious. Grocery shopping will take longer at first, but once you figure out the items that fit into your new ideals you can just check the label every now and then to make sure nothing has changed. I started reading labels when my daughter was diagnosed with a dairy and egg allergy, so I have been doing it for 9 years now. The things I look for have changed over time. At this point we avoid artificial colors, high fructose corn syrup, dairy and eggs. Yes, even with all those restrictions we still have plenty of options out there. Most people don’t think they have options, but they really do. Cutting out the fake stuff like HFCS and artificial colors is one of the best things you can do for your health. And it only requires buying a different brand many times.
I was somewhat forced into this because of the food allergies, but cooking basic foods with common, basic ingredients is a great way to save money. All those fancy boxes that make a meal are off limits for us. But I can create great meals myself. For instance a dinner might consist of grilled chicken, cous cous and a salad. Another night we might have spaghetti (whole wheat noodles and homemade sauce) and green beans. The fancier a meal is the more it costs.
This goes back to reading labels. If the ingredient list takes up half the box the chances are higher that it has fake stuff. For example Club Crackers have a dozen or so ingredients. Triscuits have 3 or 4. Triscuits stick to the basics in their products. The price is virtually the same.
We have a garden at our house and this year I also have a community plot as well. I can or freeze the excess produce to eat all year. That spaghetti and green bean meal from above was made from tomatoes and green beans from my garden. Even if you don’t have a ton of space, you can usually grow something. Container gardening and square foot gardening both provide lots of fresh veggies in a small amount of space. The cost is less and the produce is more nutritious.
This is why we avoid HFCS and artificial colors. I could have picked other things, or more things, but I feel pretty good about being able to avoid these while still getting foods that my daughter can eat. If we didn’t have to work around her food allergies I could avoid other things too, but it becomes really difficult at the moment. For me this means that many things I have to buy organic if I am going to buy it all. Many things I just don’t buy. Who needs all that processed junk food anyway? Your battles will probably look different from mine and that is fine.
I found a great local farm that sells farm fresh eggs for $2 a dozen. You can’t beat that and they are delicious. I have also found a great CSA we are joining this year that will provide organic veggies, fruits, meats, milk, bread and cheese. Check out Eat Local for local sources in your area. If you buy in bulk you can frequently get the good foods for the same price as the grocery store foods.
Organic food items go on sale too. They won’t be free, but they are much cheaper than full price this way. So when the organic ketchup went on sale for half price in February, I bought four bottles. This saves me money in the long run.
By combining these methods I am able to feed my family better foods for less money. We are eating healthier than ever before and thriving because of it. Take the time to figure out a plan for your family and you can too.