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I’m surrounded by boxes once again, and in two days, we’ll move for the third time in eight months. It’s a stressful way to start the new year, but it’s really a great thing for our family. After eight months of frugal survival mode, we’ll finally be making enough to start building our savings instead of depleting it.
In addition to paid time off and a decent salary, we finally have employer-provided health insurance again after 8 months of COBRA and private insurance (Hallelujah!).
As I’ve written before, though, I actually find it harder to reach my goals when we’re living comfortably. A tight budget keeps me accountable and forces me to live frugally. More money means more temptation to spend frivolously. While this is more money than we’ve ever made, it’s still a very modest salary by today’s standards, and we’re going to have to stay focused if we want to stretch it to reach all of our goals.
To keep ourselves on track, I’m taking a break from packing to list our goals for this year and beyond.
Over the past eight months, we’ve had no choice but to live frugally. There wasn’t enough money available to go out to eat or buy things we didn’t need. Now that we’re earning more money, the temptation to spend will be greater, and we’ll have to stay committed to our frugal lifestyle.
The last year that we lived in North Carolina, we were saving about 30% of our total income. We’ll actually be earning more now than we did then, but we have loftier goals so saving will be a little more challenging.
This is savings priority #1. Three moves, four months with no income at all, and four months earning less than we needed to pay our meager expenses have depleted our emergency fund to practically nothing.
We currently share a tiny economy car. It has served us well for the past four years, but now that we have a child, it’s a little cramped. In North Carolina, I drove the car to work and Tony was able to take public transportation to work and class. Now that we’re living in a city without reliable public transportation (and we’re living about 15 minutes from Tony’s job), sharing a car will be a little more difficult. So we’d like to invest in a second car so Judah and I aren’t stuck at home all day.
We’re definitely renting for the first year in our new city — and likely the second year as well. But now that it looks like we’ll be settling down for a few years, I want to start making plans to become homeowners. That means meeting with a mortgage broker to find out what we need to do to get our credit in order and ramping up our savings for a down payment.
Becoming debt free is still pretty low on my list of priorities. I do plan to increase our monthly payments on these debts, but I’d like to wait until we’re homeowners to really buckle down and pay them off.
As part of his benefits package, Tony’s employer will be matching his retirement savings up to a percentage. We both have Roth IRA savings accounts as well. I will continue to put money earned through freelancing and other money-making projects into my account. We’ll also decide how much of Tony’s salary to contribute to his employer-provided account tax free.
We likely won’t be too aggressive about saving for Judah’s college fund at this point, but I’d like to get the account in place so his grandparents can contribute if they’d like and we can put some money away when it’s available.
I’m so excited to finally have a bit of money to work with, but it’s not going to go far considering all of our goals. We’re going to have to be extremely focused. Stay tuned to see how we do!
This has definitely been the craziest year of my life. It wasn’t until I started compiling links for this post that I realized just how much has happened this year.
At the end of 2009, we booked tickets for our trip to Europe.
In January, we started putting together the details for the trip and planning to move. I also started training for my New Year’s resolution — running a half marathon. Pregnancy prevented me from reaching that goal, but I did become a real runner. We knew that we’d be starting a family very soon, so we took advantage of our last few months of freedom and booked a spontaneous cruise to the Bahamas.
In February, I realized that a tight budget can be a blessing. I also reflected on our accomplishments and considered how to stay relevant in my job even though I’d already turned in a resignation.
In March, we started looking for a subletter for our apartment. We went on a cruise to the Bahamas. I realized just how important a savings account can be. I also ran my first 5K.
In April, I discovered I was pregnant (but I didn’t announce it here yet). The pregnancy combined with our impending move pushed my stress level to the limit, but I reminded myself that there’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. I got a lot of flack for my confession that we’re in no hurry to be debt free. And after three years, we packed up our apartment in North Carolina and headed home to Indiana.
In May, I announced my pregnancy! I didn’t post much else that month since we were gone for two weeks in Europe.
In June, I recapped our European vacation. I also complained a lot about pregnancy. Tony accepted a new job in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and we started planning to move again. I knew money would be tight, so I came up with a game plan to tighten our budget.
In July, we found an apartment and moved to Fort Wayne. We started shopping for baby stuff. We found out that our baby is a boy! We made a list of essential baby items. And I realized just how much of our home was purchased second hand.
In August, I struggled a lot with pregnancy. I started quite a bit of controversy with my post on luxury vs. necessity. We started making plans to pay for our baby’s education.
In September, I came up with our cloth diapering game plan. I transitioned to a work-at-home career. I examined the hidden costs of small-town life. And we were gifted with a boatload of baby clothes from Tony’s yard sale master grandmother.
In October, I reminded myself of everything I have to be thankful for. We also finished Judah’s nursery!
In November, I finally posted a self portrait of my huge pregnant self. I cleared up some common misconceptions about midwifery. I looked into our options for insurance (oh, thank GOD we don’t have to worry about this anymore). And we welcomed our baby boy!
And last month, I shared my birth story. I began adjusting to life with a baby. We also found out that we’re moving again, but this time it’s for a fantastic full-time teaching job.
Whew. Three moves, two big vacations, and a baby. Let’s hope 2011 is just as great, but a lot less stressful.
It’s been almost a week since I posted, which is longer than I’ve ever gone without posting since I started this blog. Despite the holidays and my month-old baby, I didn’t intend to take an extended vacation. But we got some unexpected good news that threw everything off.
The day before Christmas Eve, we found out that Tony has been hired for a full-time teaching position at a college in southern Indiana near Louisville, Kentucky. Classes begin January 10, which means we’re moving four hours away in a week.
We were visiting with my in-laws about two hours away from our new home when we got the news, so after the holidays we headed straight to our new city to find an apartment and get things in order for the move.
It’s extremely stressful trying to get everything together on such short notice, especially with a newborn baby. But it really is fantastic news for our family, so I’m not complaining.
Posting may be sparse for the next week as I pack up our apartment and make the move, but I’ll be back soon. Happy New Year to all of you!
I hope you’re all safe and warm with the ones you love. Have a wonderful holiday!
Oh, hey. It’s a post about money!
This weekend, Judah turned three weeks old. For the first two weeks of life with a newborn, I tried to keep things as simple as possible. I was still recovering from the birth and getting used to taking care of a baby, so I was okay with using disposable diapers. We received a case of size 1s from a generous family member at the baby shower, so we have plenty to use up anyway.
Last week, though, I decided to switch to cloth diapers during the day. I’m thrilled with how well they’re working out, and they’re so much easier than I expected. I was committed to making it work from the start, but part of me was nervous that we might not be able to keep up with it. After a week, I can definitely say that we won’t be using disposables at least 95% of the time.
After three weeks of successful breastfeeding, I think it’s safe to say that we’re not going to be buying formula, either.
I’m curious about how much money we’re actually saving by using cloth diapers and breastfeeding. There are so many variables that it’s hard to come up with solid numbers. If I’d spent any time buying diapers or formula, I might be able to come up with some rough averages.
I know if you work really hard like Kacie at Sense to Save did before she had her first baby, you can stockpile a ton of diapers for as low as 5 cents each. I also know that if you buy the most expensive, fanciest brands at regular price, you’ll pay 25 to 30 cents a diaper.
As far as formula goes, I’ve read that generics will run you about $10 a can, which will last about a week for a baby Judah’s age. Or you can easily spend $30 a can on more expensive name brands.
Before I can really figure out how much I’m saving, I’ll need to see what all this laundry does to my water and electric bills after a full month of cloth diapering. I’m not looking forward to that increase, but I’m confident it will still be less than I’d pay for diapers.
I also need some rough averages on costs. I’m looking to all of you for your insight. If you’ve used disposable diapers or formula, how much did you spend per month in an average month?
I just realized it’s been two weeks today since we brought Judah home from the hospital. Really? It’s only been two weeks? It feels like a lifetime.
It’s amazing how difficult it’s been for me to do anything but care for Judah in those two weeks. Considering the fact that the boy can’t even roll over at this point, I’m shocked at how time consuming he’s been.
For the past two weeks, I’ve spent the majority of my time just holding him. I couldn’t get away with putting him down for longer than 15 minutes without a complete meltdown. Sometimes he’ll accept Tony as a substitute long enough for me to take a shower. Tony has become pretty good at juggling a sleeping baby with grading papers or getting his own reading done.
We’ve settled into sort of a routine now, and Judah is letting me get away with putting him down for a little longer each day. I’m finally starting to get to other tasks around the house. Yesterday I was able to finish several loads of laundry and vacuum the apartment. Today I finished the huge stack of dishes that overflowed from the sink and consumed an entire counter in my kitchen. They were small tasks, but they felt like major victories.
We’re both adjusting. I’m getting used to life with a newborn; he’s getting used to life.
I can’t complain, though. He continues to be a remarkably easy baby. He wakes me up every couple hours to eat, but he goes back to sleep immediately. I feel criminally well rested considering the fact that I have a newborn. And of course it doesn’t hurt that he’s so stinking lovable.
Last Friday we got out of the house to run a long list of errands, and you wouldn’t even have known there was a baby in the car seat I carted around from store to store. He was quiet as a mouse.
Physically I feel better than I have since March. I’m finally free from the constant nausea, heartburn, and pain that became a daily reality for me throughout pregnancy. Emotionally I’m struggling a little. Caring for a newborn can feel so isolating and demanding, and the post partum hormonal roller coaster certainly doesn’t help matters. We’re getting through it, though.
Tony has been wonderful. He’s up with us for most feedings, and he’s continued to pick up my slack with household chores despite the fact that his work schedule has been unreal as he gets closer to the end of the semester. At the end of this week, he’ll finally get some time off for winter break (three whole weeks!) It can’t come soon enough.
This morning we finally started transitioning to cloth diapers. For the next couple weeks we’ll continue using disposables at night partly because I’d like to get used to cloth during the day before trying to deal with them at night and partly because we’re still going through the case of disposables we received at the shower. I’ll be updating with a full report once we’ve had a chance to get used to them, but so far so good.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for your patience as I take my own version of maternity leave. Regular posting will resume soon, I promise.
I promise this blog will someday be a personal finance blog again. At the moment, though, eight pounds of adorable have sort of eclipsed everything else in my life, so he might as well monopolize the blog.
And now a birth story! I promise to leave out the gory parts. Mostly.
I should start by saying that even though I’d been hoping to go into labor the entire week of Thanksgiving, I completely changed my mind on Friday. Labor was the LAST thing I wanted, because Friday morning I woke up with the worst case of stomach flu I’ve experienced in a decade.
I was determined to get our apartment decorated for Christmas on the off chance that I’d go into labor that weekend. So I woke up and I started hauling boxes of Christmas decorations out into the living room. I barely got the boxes open when I started feeling the kind of profound nausea that I haven’t experienced since the first trimester.
For the next 20 hours, I was sick every other hour. And every time I was sick I thought to myself, “Oh please, don’t let me go into labor until I’m over this. I cannot do it right now.”
I was up most of the night feeling closer to death than I ever have in my life. I was wide awake at 5:30 in the morning when I felt a bizarre pop in my belly. I knew my water had broken. My first thought? “Oh, crap.”
Throughout my pregnancy, I was reassured many times that Hollywood’s portrayal of labor is completely unrealistic. The dramatic moment when the water breaks and everyone rushes to the hospital because the baby is coming NOW? It does not happen. In fact, only 10% of labors begin with broken water. And even then it’s usually more like a trickle than a waterfall.
Well, my water did not trickle. It broke. In the middle of my living room. Just like in the movies. WHOOSH. And then it broke several more times ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I have no idea how I was carrying around so much amniotic fluid, but I lost at least two gallons. It was every bit as inconvenient as you would imagine.
I had fallen asleep on the couch in an attempt to keep my stomach flu germs away from Tony. So I went into our bedroom and woke him up with a very sincere, “My water just broke. Oh my God, I cannot have a baby today.”
I was exhausted. I hadn’t eaten in a full 24 hours. I knew I was likely incredibly dehydrated. But once your water breaks, you’ve got about 24 hours to get the baby out. So I tried to put on my game face.
I called to let my midwife know that my water broke, and she told me I’d likely have some time since my contractions hadn’t really started yet. She told me to hang out at home, try to get some rest, and drink lots of fluids. I figured I’d have a couple hours before I needed to go to the hospital.
I scurried around doing some last minute things and getting my bags together. Tony took a shower. About 45 minutes later, my contractions suddenly went from zero to every three minutes and INTENSE. I knew then that I would not have several hours. Just like in the movies, we needed to leave NOW.
Tony is generally a pretty cautious driver, but we had a 30-minute drive to the hospital, and we made it there in about 15 minutes. Tony said later, “I was so hoping we’d get pulled over so I could dramatically tell the officer that my wife was in labor.”
We arrived at the hospital around 6:30 a.m. Just as I suspected, I was severely dehydrated, so I was given IV fluids. I was also having a remarkably fast labor. I dilated from 4 cm to 7 cm in under an hour. Because of the speed of my labor and the extreme fatigue and dehydration from the stomach flu, I was not managing my pain well. I was shaking pretty violently — I’m not sure if it was because of the pain or because of the fatigue and dehydration.
Despite my hopes for an unmedicated birth, I asked for an epidural. Tony and my midwife remained confident that I could do this without it. I knew that I couldn’t. I was just too weak from the illness, the dehydration, and the fact that I hadn’t eaten in over a day.
There are many things that contributed to my decision to go ahead with the epidural, but the biggest reason was the speed of my labor. I’d already reached 7 cm before I requested the medication, and my labor was moving along like a freight train. One of my biggest fears about the epidural was that it would stall labor, which would require labor augmentation drugs, which could lead to fetal distress, which could lead to a C-section. Since I was already at 7 cm and moving so fast, I knew I was pretty unlikely to need further intervention beyond the epidural. So I went for it.
I received a very low dose epidural. I was still able to feel my contractions, but the pain subsided enough that I could focus. I finally stopped shaking. The IV fluids began to reverse my dehydration, and that gave me a little strength.
Honestly, though? The biggest source of my strength during labor despite my weakened, ill state was an incredible desire to get this baby OUT. I was so done being pregnant and so ready to meet my baby. I knew the ordeal of pregnancy was almost over, and I was willing to do anything it took to get to the finish line as quickly as possible.
We had called my mom when we first headed to the hospital. She lives an hour and a half away, but she figured she had some time to get up and moving. Three hours later, I was 10 cm, and she hadn’t arrived.
When my midwife told me it was time to start pushing, I asked how long we had. She told me, “First time moms can push up to 2 hours. Your mom has some time.”
Fifteen minutes later, my midwife leaned over to Tony and said, “Just how important is it that her mom get here? Because this baby is coming fast.”
Thankfully, my mom arrived a few minutes after that. Just thirty minutes later, I was holding my little boy. Two hours of pushing? Pfft. No thanks. I got him out in 45 minutes.
From the start of my contractions to Judah’s birth, my labor lasted under four hours. Yikes! Thankfully, I required absolutely no intervention beyond the epidural. However, I do not recommend fast labor. It is incredibly intense. If I had a choice, I would have added another four hours or so to space the contractions out a little and give me some time to prepare myself.
Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end here. But typing with a baby in my lap isn’t so easy, so I suppose now is a good time to take a break. More on Judah’s exciting first days later!
I really love this kid.