Category Archives: Life

Desperately seeking a subletter

One of the big things on my “to-do before we move” list — the thing I’m dreading most — is figuring out what to do about our apartment. We’re moving at the beginning of May, but our lease isn’t up until the end of July. This means we could end up paying three months’ rent for an empty apartment unless we can find someone who wants to live there until the end of the lease.

According to my landlord, in North Carolina, we have two options for avoiding this. The first is to give the landlord 30 days’ notice that we want to terminate our lease early. They’ll put the apartment back on the market, and if they can find a renter, they’ll let us out of our lease. This is ideal, but it’s also unlikely. Unfortunately, there are two other 2-bedroom apartments that will be vacant as of April 30, which means those two will be rented out first.

The other option is finding a subletter. This is a lot more work on our part. Not only do we need to find someone who is interested in renting the apartment, but we have to stay on the lease for those three months while a stranger lives in the apartment. We remind liable for rent if they default.

From what I can tell, here’s the process we’re facing for finding a subletter.

  1. Find someone who is interested in renting the apartment from May until July.
  2. The subletter must fill out the rental application and pass a credit check and background check in order to be approved.
  3. We sign a new lease with the subletter. If the subletter defaults on the lease, we are responsible for paying the rent.

I hate the idea of doing it this way, but I really want to avoid paying rent for those three months when we’re not living here.

We live extremely close to Tony’s university, so I’m really hoping we’ll find a college student (or two) who needs a place to stay for the summer. I posted a listing on Craigslist, but no one has responded to it. After spring break, we’ll be posting some flyers around campus advertising the opening. Beyond that, I’m not really sure how to go about finding a subletter.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to find a reliable subletter?

Photo by jessandcolin

Simple ways to save time and reduce stress

As I try to stay sane for the next couple months despite my mile-long to-do list, I’m looking for quick and easy ways to reduce stress.

Here are a few things I’ve tried in the past few weeks that have helped immensely.

Plan ahead.

At the beginning of each day (or each week), take a few minutes to make a rough outline of what needs to be completed and when. It may feel like you don’t have time to stop and regroup before you tackle the day, but making a game plan will help you prioritize tasks, manage your time more efficiently, and keep you on task.

Delegate and ask for help.

It may seem like you’re on your own, but chances are your support network is more willing to help than you think. Enlist your spouse, children, or co-workers to handle appropriate tasks on your to-do list. Once you’ve mapped out your game plan for the day or week, figure out which tasks would make the most sense to outsource.

Deal with it now.

I have a tendency to let a million little things pile up in my life. I leave a ton of emails in my inbox. I let the junk mail pile up on the kitchen table. I wait until the last possible minute to do everything.

If you want to cut your stress instantly, try taking care of those little bothersome things right away. Archive or delete every email as soon as you’ve read it. Throw junk mail into the recycling bin as soon as you’ve read it. Wash your dishes as soon as you finish eating. By taking a little time to take care of this stuff as it happens, you’ll reduce the total number of items looming over you on your to-do list.

Make your health a priority.

You may be tempted to give up relaxation, exercise, or sleep in favor of work or chores. When you sacrifice your health, you’re not at the top of your game, which will lead to less productivity. Take the time to take care of yourself, and you’ll get more done in less time, leaving you with more hours in the day when your work is done.

Photo by charliedees

Setting boundaries to maintain my sanity

With everything that’s happening right now, I’ve been more than a little overwhelmed. I’ve been thinking of ways to cut down on stress and make time for the things that relax me.

The line between work, home, and work-at-home has become too blurry. Chores around the house are being neglected, and I feel like I’m constantly “on the lock.” I’ve decided to set some boundaries for the next couple months to keep me focused and give me time to chill out.

No laptop in bed.

One of the things I miss most when life gets hectic is reading fiction. When I’m stressed, nothing is more relaxing than forgetting about my to-do and immersing myself in a book. Stress also leads to insomnia for me, especially when I’m working right up until I try to sleep. Reading before bed calms me and takes my mind off the stress in the moments before I sleep.

Solution: I’ve banned myself from bringing my laptop to bed with me. For the past week, I’ve been forcing myself to read instead of work or plan, and it’s definitely helping me sleep better and relax a little in the evening. It also gives me an opportunity to spend time with my husband without our laptops between us.

Set time limits.

Since I work full time throughout the week, I do the bulk of my personal planning and projects on the weekends. Since the weekends are my only chance to relax, working too much on Saturday and Sunday cuts back on my “me” time. I feel like I spend all morning working and the afternoons are eaten up by errands and household chores.

Solution: Weekend days are now “work days” with the same limits. I work 8:30 to 5:30 on the weekdays, so why should I be on the clock non-stop on Saturday and Sunday? I’ll spend weekend mornings planning, writing and working until 2 p.m. From 2 to 5:30 p.m., I’ll get household chores done, but the weekend evenings are mine to relax, exercise, and spend time with Tony.

I’m making myself and my family a priority.

I think we all have a tendency to put what we can on the back burner when time is limited. That means that the things and people we love most often get the shaft. I’m definitely guilty of this. If I’m busy, my work out is the first thing I cut. After that, I’m likely to sacrifice time with my husband if I’ve got a lot going on. But why should the things that are most important to me take a backseat?

Solution: The things that are most important to me are non-negotiable. I’m limiting “overtime” when it comes to personal projects. During the times that I’ve allotted to myself and my family, taking me time and being with my husband are the only things on my to-do list.

Have you set boundaries for your sanity? What would your rules be?

Photo by redvers

How to stay relevant after turning in your resignation

Most people suggest a minimum of two-weeks’ notice when you decide to leave a job, and offering a little more notice if you want to leave your job on good terms. Due to extenuating circumstances, I ended up giving my current employer almost five months’ notice before leaving.

I don’t recommend offering this much notice, but an impending maternity leave in my department made me feel that giving my employer a lot of extra time to cover his bases was only fair — especially since I made the decision to move early. I felt it would have been dishonest to train to cover my colleague’s maternity absence when I knew I was leaving a month before her due date.

It can be very difficult to stay relevant in your position when your employer and colleagues know you’re on your way out. The last thing I want to do is coast, though. Not only would it make my last few months boring and unchallenging, it would jeopardize my positive reference by leaving a bad final impression with my office.

Here’s how I’m staying on top of my game.

Let your employer know that you’re not finished yet.

If you turn in your resignation letter early like I did, be sure to let your employer know that you’re committed to the job 100% until your last day. Not only did I write it in my resignation letter, but I told my employer face-to-face that it was important to me to finish what I’d started there, and that I still had a lot of work to do before my last day.

Set up your replacement for a smooth transition.

We all develop a personal organization system that works for us in our jobs, but sometimes your personal system can be difficult for anyone else to decipher. If you’re one of these people, spend some time reorganizing your files and creating process documents to make it easy for your replacement to hit the ground running.

Tie up loose ends tight.

Now is the time to not only finish all of the projects you’ve started, but take extra time to make sure everything is done perfectly. Don’t be tempted to “phone it in” as you approach your final day. Your laziness will be apparent once you leave, and it could lead to a negative reference even if you were a perfect employee until your resignation.

Take initiative on new projects.

You may not be the first person your employer considers when it’s time to start new projects, but take the initiative and remind him or her that you’re still a dedicated employee right up until your last day. If you have time to tackle something new, do it.

What are your suggestions for staying relevant in the final months or weeks before leaving a job?

Photo by saraab

On accepting my own limitations

Lately, I’d give anything for an extra 12 hours in the day. Between full-time work, daily blogging, my book project, exercise, household chores, and spending time with my husband, there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. Add to that our travel plans and moving preparations, and I’m completely overwhelmed.

Then there are the projects that I want to do that I just can’t fit into my schedule — the books on my to-read list, the unfinished quilts that have collected dust for 3 years, the piles and piles of clutter that need to be cleared before we pick up and move again, the movies I’ve yet to see, and my poor dog who isn’t walked nearly enough.

I wish I had a solution, but honestly, I don’t. I love that I have such a varied list of interests, and I love that my busy schedule keeps me from ever feeling bored. But I hate the way it feels to see the book on my nightstand, and the bookmark that serves as a painful reminder that I’ve yet to make a dent in it. I hate the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach when I look at my guest room, crammed full of stuff that I haven’t even touched months. I miss having the time to do my favorite relaxing projects that I love — quilting and reading and photography.

It seems that the only solution is to give some of it up, but I can’t choose. So I end up back at the same place — struggling to balance the things that I must do with the things that I love.

As kids, we’re told that we can do it all. As adults, we face the tough reality that it’s just not possible.

How do you find a balance?

Feels like home

This year, my Valentine’s Day gift came a day early. We woke up to six inches of snow on the ground in our typically temperate beach town. It’s nothing compared to what we used to get in Indiana — or what the upper East Coast is currently digging out of — but we enjoyed a little piece of home on Saturday.

I’ve missed it.

Countdown to Europe & moving: 3 months to go

These countdowns seem to be coming more frequently now, but it’s only because time is flying. I’m not complaining, though. Everything is coming together now. I’m pretty much done planning for Europe. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for moving. I feel like planning for that has barely even begun.

Last week, our passports arrived in the mail. It’s exciting, and it’s a relief. We applied about 8 weeks before we’ll need them for our cruise to the Bahamas, so we’re lucky they were processed so quickly (less than a month).

The only thing left for us to do is book our train tickets. We’re riding a train from London to Amsterdam and another train from Amsterdam to Paris. We can’t book tickets more than three months in advance, but next week we’ll be able to reserve our seats. Once we’ve purchased our train tickets, we’ll have everything booked!

We’ve talked a little bit about an itinerary, and I’ve asked everyone I know who’s traveled abroad to tell me what we must see. Honestly, though, I’m wary about over-planning. I want to relax while we’re there, and I don’t want to feel like we have to be doing something every second. We’ve made a list of the things we absolutely must see. Beyond that, we’re trying to keep things as loose as possible.

There’s nothing much to report as far as moving goes. To be honest, I’ve been in denial about what I need to do. The guest room where visitors used to sleep? It’s completely overrun with boxes and various items with which we don’t know what to do. I’ve been talking about clearing some of this clutter for months now, but I’ve yet to do anything. I’m sure this will be like every other time I’ve moved — I’ll put off cleaning until it’s time to pack, and then I’ll drive myself crazy trying to get rid of stuff and pack boxes simultaneously. I’ll probably never learn.

But who wants to think about packing and cleaning when I could be planning for Europe? Besides, think of how fun it will be when it’s time for me to pack and I’m going through 3 years of useless junk!

Photo by pedrosimoes7