Tag Archives: parenting

On encouraging each other

I don’t have to tell you that parenting is hard work. Especially parenting small children. When you’re toting two small kids around on a sub-zero, snowy day, tasks that would maybe be a minor inconvenience on your own become monumental, exhausting hard work.

Case in point: a trip to a doctor’s office. Before I had children, it was annoying to sit in a waiting room for up to an hour waiting for my name to be called. But there was no work involved. It was just inconvenient. Now with a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old, it might as well be the Olympics of parenting.

The first event? Getting everyone dressed and out the door. What was once complicated with just a preschooler is now nearly impossible. Change the baby’s diaper, dress the baby, feed the baby, feed the 3-year-old, dress the 3-year-old, remind the 3-year-old to go potty, bundle the 3-year-old up, change the baby’s diaper again (of COURSE he chooses this moment to poop). By the time I’ve managed to do all of this, it’s time to feed the baby again, and while I’m sitting in the chair doing that, the 3-year-old takes off his shoes and coat and sometimes even his pants, and the whole process starts over again.

If you manage to make it out the door and to the appointment on time, you now have to face the next event: filling out the stack of paperwork they hand you at the reception desk with no consideration for how you’re going to manage it while keeping the 3-year-old entertained and holding the 4-month-old in your lap. Ten pages later (including a medical history that no one reads and insurance information that they already have on file after copying your insurance card), after juggling the clip board and pen and baby in your hands while stopping every 30 second to remind the 3-year-old not to drag the waiting room chairs across the room and please use your inside voice and don’t block the entry door, and “Don’t go back there, it’s not our turn yet!”, they finally call you back.

Now the main event: a room full of shiny, expensive objects and drawers and cabinets and the trash can full of who knows what germs and those damn rolling stools that every 3-year-old is just dying to use as a skateboard so he can crack open his head on the floor. It was hard enough keeping Judah entertained without getting into anything at the doctor’s office when it was just the two of us. Trying to keep him out of trouble with his brother in my lap is pretty much impossible.

This was my experience yesterday at an appointment for Judah with an ENT to look into a minor allergy-related concern that his pediatrician had at his annual check-up. It wasn’t even a particularly bad day. In fact, Judah was being pretty well behaved all things considered. He sat next to me in the waiting room, and we made silly faces at his brother, and I quizzed him on opposites, and we talked about dinosaurs. After a night of interrupted sleep with the sleep-regressing 4-month-old, what I really wanted was to zone out, stare into space as we waited or even close my eyes and catch a few minutes of rest. But I needed not only to be awake, but to keep Judah entertained and Noah happy and avoid disturbing the waiting room full of child-free adults.

By the time I made it to the check-out desk to schedule a follow-up appointment, we’d been in the office for about two hours. Noah had been awake the whole time, and I could tell it was close to time to feed him again. I was waiting in line not looking forward to bundling the kids back up, schlepping them through the icy, cold parking lot, and buckling them into car seats to finally get them home.

I was next in line when an older woman approached me. She said hello to Judah and peeked at Noah in his car seat. “You have two beautiful boys,” she said. I thanked her.

Then she put her hand on my shoulder and said, “I was in the waiting room with you, and I just wanted to tell you, you are one hell of a good mom. Your boys are lucky.” And she smiled, and walked away.

As parents, we’re used to putting in long hours of exhausting work. We love our kids, and the reward for all of our hard work is watching them grow and thrive. There is no question that they’re worth it. But sometimes it’s nice to hear a kind word from a stranger and know that someone else has noticed how hard you’re working to take care of these tiny people. She took 10 seconds out of her day to stop and say something nice to an exhausted mom of young kids, and it made such a huge impact on my day. I’m so grateful for her kindness.

I’m determined to pay it forward. I want to make someone’s day the way this stranger made mine. I want to pay attention to the other parents around me, and notice what they’re doing right. It’s easy to judge other parents, but wouldn’t it be nice if we spent more time encouraging each other?

I’d like to try.

Potty training: the Final Frontier. Or something.

This is the last post I will write about my child’s toilet habits. I promise. (Well, my first child anyway.)

Since I was only a few days into the potty training adventure when I wrote my step-by-step breakdown of our potty training boot camp adaptation, I wanted to share a quick update. I fully expected the whole thing to go completely off the rails a few days later and result in 6 months of training despite our early success.

That hasn’t happened. In fact, the opposite is true.

Last weekend marked three weeks since we stopped using diapers. And aside from night time and exactly one play date, we have been diaper and Pull-Up free ever since. It took about two weeks for him to finally (FINALLY) go #2 in the potty, and he hasn’t looked back. I honestly don’t remember the last time he had an accident (maybe a week ago?) Aside from some help cleaning up occasionally (ahem), he has been using the potty completely independently at home. About a week into the process, he started preferring the big toilet with a child seat over his Elmo potty. He’s able to climb on and off on his own with just a step stool, so I’m not even cleaning up a potty seat anymore. YAY YAY YAY.

This past weekend, we took our first diaper-free road trip to visit my husband’s family. I considered a Pull-Up for the 3-hour drive, but ultimately decided that I didn’t like the idea of setting that precedent. I didn’t want him to think it was okay to pee in his pants in his car seat. Instead, I put a dish towel under him, brought some changes of clothes, and stopped a few times to let him use the bathroom. He stayed completely dry on both the trip there and back.

I was also concerned that he’d be too distracted playing with his grandparents to remember to stop and go potty. Nope! He didn’t have a single accident.

The most surprising thing of all? He wakes up with a dry Pull-Up every single morning. We’re about halfway through the only box we’ve ever purchased, and I’m pretty sure we won’t need to buy another. I’m continuing to use them at night as an insurance policy, but when these are gone, I think I’ll try putting him to bed in underpants and hoping for the best. We do have a waterproof mattress cover as extra protection, so worst case scenario is lots of sheet washing. (This definitely varies kid-to-kid, though, and I advocate doctors’ advice not to rush or push night-time training. Some kids don’t master it until age 4 or 5, and that’s completely normal.)

I’m pretty sure we’re closing the book on the potty training chapter with this one. I cannot believe how easy it ended up being, and I’m relieved beyond words that it’s done and over with a full three months before his baby brother is due to arrive. I don’t think I could have gotten it done this quickly and painlessly while also nursing and caring for a newborn.

It hasn’t been sunshine and roses. Those two weeks before he finally pooped in the potty were rough. Public restrooms are a NIGHTMARE. I was so glad that he wasn’t afraid to use public toilets in the beginning, but now I wish he were afraid, because then he wouldn’t insist on running around the germ-infested room touching ev.er.y.thing. Sigh. But I’m not changing diapers anymore, so I’m willing to work on the rest.

I’m absolutely a believer in the straight-to-underpants approach, and the intensive 3-day potty training method. It worked like a charm for us, and Judah is only two-and-a-half. Only you can decide if this is the right approach for your toddler, but I would definitely say that if you’ve been struggling with months of on-again/off-again potty training success, this is worth trying!

Potty training in 3 days without Pull-Ups

Drying diapersJudah has been showing interest in the potty for a couple months now, but mostly never did anything when we took him in there. Just a couple weeks ago he finally started acknowledging when he needed a new diaper, so I set a goal to start the process this month after my extended maternity leave began and while my husband was on vacation.

I considered several options for potty training undergarments — disposable Pull-Ups, expensive cloth trainers, cheap reusable cloth trainers, and some hybrid DIY cloth trainer options. But the majority of people who offered advice told me that going straight to underwear is the way to go. Anything else is just an expensive crutch that delays the inevitable. The idea of giving up diapers cold turkey terrified me — I imagined my expensive furniture covered in urine and ruined by the end of the first day — but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

After a little more research, I found a huge following for an intense method that people call “potty training boot camp.” There are lots of different versions of the method (Google search it for lots of different perspectives on the topic), but the most popular involves three days of intense, pantsless potty training at home followed by three months of no pants at home. I decided to modify it a bit and try it myself.

Protect your furniture.

First I had to take some precautions. We have laminate flooring, so accidents on the floor don’t concern me much. My furniture, on the other hand, is only a year old, and it was a huge investment for us. Our decision to spring for fancy slip-covered furniture actually paid off. We were able to wrap the cushions in large trash bags beneath the slip covers to protect them. The covers are 100% cotton and wash up like a dream, so I felt much better knowing that an accident could be quickly cleaned up without affecting the cushions beneath. We also put towels on top of the cushions in the hopes that we could catch small accidents without having to wash the covers every time. This step made the whole process feel a lot less stressful. If you have removable covers on your couch cushions, I highly recommend you do this!

Clear your calendar.

This potty training method relies on your commitment to stay home for at least three days. It is not easy. By the end of day 3, our whole family was going stir crazy. Staying home really did make all the difference, though. It gives the child a chance to build a solid foundation of learning without interruptions. We chose the long Memorial Day weekend, but my husband is also on vacation this week, so we knew we could take an extra couple days if necessary. Having backup was really helpful. You have to watch your toddler like a hawk the whole time, so a second pair of eyes is huge.

Throw away the diapers.

The next step is easy: say goodbye to diapers. That means Pull-Ups, too (during waking hours anyway). When your toddler wakes up on day 1, tell him or her that it’s time to wear underpants and go on the potty like a big boy/girl. Choose underwear that your toddler will like with fun characters on them to make it more exciting. Put them on your kid, and don’t look back!

Many people who use this method choose to let their toddler go bare-bottomed to make it easier for them to go. But there is also a downside to this — once the kid gets used to running around half naked, it’s an extra step to convince him to wear underwear or teach him to pull his pants down when it’s time to go. I also have enough trouble convincing Judah to wear pants at home — I didn’t want to encourage his natural inclination toward nudity. The other possible downside is that the toddler won’t feel as wet after accidents, which I think helps make the connection with how it feels when they need to go. Sure, there is more laundry to do, but those tiny underwear don’t take up much space in the washer. Plus the underwear will at least contain the poopy accidents somewhat.

Watch and remind.

The first day was extremely stressful. I tried to relax, but the truth is I was on edge, watching him like a hawk expecting an accident any minute. I used this free Potty Baby iPhone app to track when he used the potty and remind me to remind him. We started by reminding him every 15 minutes. We let him drink as many fluids as he wanted (I even allowed juice, which is usually a special treat). We only had a handful of accidents on day 1, but I was diligent. I put his potty right in the living room (I found it easier to have it front and center near where he was playing instead of all the way in the bathroom at the end of the hall). I asked him every 15-20 minutes if he needed to sit on the potty. If he said no, I encouraged him and bribed him with stickers or M&Ms — whatever it took to get him to sit down and go. We celebrated when he sat down and tried, and went bonkers when he succeeded.

We also found it helpful to watch the potty episodes of his favorite TV shows. This episode of “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” — available on Amazon Prime Instant Watch for $1.99 — was particularly helpful for him. He liked to sing the little song when he was waiting on the potty, and he has been very adamant about washing his hands every time he goes. Bonus points for good hygiene!

What kind of potty seat is best?

Initially, I planned to use a small seat that fits on a regular toilet like those made by toto toilets. I thought it would be nice to eliminate the extra step of teaching him to use the big potty eventually. But I found that the small, standalone potty actually has a lot of benefits. First of all, it can be brought into the play space (if you’re not squeamish about having a toilet in your living room for a couple days). Just put a nice thick towel under it to protect the floor from accidents and dribble. It seemed to work as a good reminder for Judah to see the potty seat right where he was playing, and it was also closer for him to get there as soon as he realized he had to go. The potty seat is also small enough that he doesn’t need help getting on and off, which saved us a lot of energy during an exhausting experience (especially since I’m 5+ months pregnant). He could run over and use it on his own without help by the end of the first day, but he will probably need help climbing on and off the big toilet for a while yet.

I also found it very helpful to be able to track whether he actually went or not and how much. He faked us out several times in the first couple days by sitting on the potty and declaring “I’m done!” — but he hadn’t actually peed. If the potty was empty, we knew we had to continue watching him very closely. There were also times when he went just a little bit, and we knew he’d need to go again soon. It’s harder to monitor that when you’re using a regular toilet.

We let him use the big toilet with the seat a few times throughout the day to make sure he was okay with that, too. I don’t think the transition will be too tough for him. But I will probably keep the small potty seat around for a while just because it’s easier for him to use without a lot of help.

What about naps and night time?

I didn’t think naps would be an issue, because Judah dropped his afternoon nap a couple months ago. The potty training excitement must have tired him out, though, because he fell asleep on the couch all three days. Since the couches were lined with plastic and towels, I let him sleep in underwear. I stayed nearby in the hopes that I could catch him as soon as he woke up and hustle him to the potty. I fully expected him to pee in his sleep on day 1, but I was surprised when he woke up totally dry. He was pretty crabby about it when I put him straight on the potty as soon as he started to stir, but with just a little convincing, he went. So that’s how we handled naps all three days.

I think he’s still a little young for night training, so we are putting him in a Pull-Up at bedtime. They’re pricier than diapers, but I wanted them to at least look a little different and slide on like underwear. I call them his “special night time underpants” so they seem a little different to him than diapers. He has been wet (and sometimes dirty) every morning. When I start to notice him waking up dry most days, we’ll move forward with night training. Ten hours is a long time to go without peeing for a toddler, and I’d rather have restful sleep than a night-trained 2-year-old at this point.

Stick with it at least 3 days.

We had several accidents on day 1. On day 2, we only had three — two in the morning, and one in the afternoon. By day 3, we had just one small accident, but he quickly realized it was happening and ran to the potty to finish up. Even though he wasn’t having accidents on day 3, I was concerned that he still needed a lot of reminding and encouragement to sit on the potty. I knew he was making good progress, though, because I’d increased the reminder time from 20 minutes to 40 minutes, and he wasn’t having accidents in between. He was holding it. He also went on his own a few times without being reminded. By day 4, though, something seemed to click. He woke up and went straight to the potty on his own (even though his Pull-Up was wet), and then continued to go on his own throughout the day with few reminders.

Make the first outing quick and familiar.

By day 4, we were all pretty stir crazy, so I decided to take the big step and get out of the house. My husband was skeptical about going out without a diaper or Pull-Up. I considered putting him in a Pull-Up, but I didn’t like the idea of taking a step back. I was afraid that as soon as he had that “diaper,” he’d just go about his business as he’s done the past 2.5 years. I decided to risk it and give him a chance to really test his new skills.

I did take precautions, though! I made sure he went right before we walked out the door, and I put a small dish towel under him in his car seat (nothing too bulky, or it could compromise the safety of the seat). I also brought a change of clothes just in case. We had a big talk about how important it is to stay dry in his car seat, and how exciting it would be to use the big potty at the store. We brought a big bath towel for him to sit on in the cart so clean up wouldn’t have to be too embarrassing or messy.

We decided to take a quick trip to Target, partly because there were a few things we needed, but mostly because he’s familiar with the place. (We’ve also hit the family bathroom there a ton since I’ve been pregnant.) I brought him into the family bathroom first thing and let him sit right on the big toilet (with my help so he wouldn’t fall in). I had read several recommendations to bring a portable potty seat for public bathrooms, but I wanted to see if I could convince him to use the regular toilet to avoid having to carry a potty seat around or teach him to do it later. Sure enough, he did just fine! He was really excited to flush the big toilet and wash his hands in the sink.

I set the timer on my phone to remind me in 30 minutes, and we hustled through the store. About 20 minutes later, my husband and I had split up briefly, and Judah told his dad that he needed a diaper. My husband rushed him back to the bathrooms, helped him climb back on the toilet, and he went again. I was impressed that he asked to go even out at the store. He made it through the entire 1-hour outing completely dry!

Number 2 is not so easy.

At this point, I would say the whole thing has been a huge success. He has been going independently with few reminders. But as of day 4, we still have not had a #2 on the potty. He either goes in his Pull-Up first thing in the morning … or he has an accident in his underwear. When that happens, I do NOT shame him or get angry. But I do bring him over to the potty and have him sit down. Then I tell him, “Poop goes in the potty now, so next time try to let me know BEFORE you go so we can put it in the potty!” I then make a big deal about dumping the waste in the toilet, and I let him flush it down to show him that’s where we want to put it now. He still seems pretty skeptical, but I’m hoping he’ll figure it out as he gets more comfortable using the toilet. The accidents don’t seem to phase him or upset him too much.

We’ve offered him a pretty big bribe when he finally does the deed — a set of all the Toy Story toys that he’s been wanting for months — but this doesn’t seem to be something he can control. He’s been going this way for 2.5 years, after all. It’s going to take a big psychological step for him to go on the potty. I’m hoping he’ll take that last big step sooner rather than later, but I’m following his lead. Any advice on that front would be much appreciated.

I’m also prepared for additional accidents and possible setbacks. I know we’re not done yet. There are still a few occasions when I’ll probably lean on the Pull-Up crutch — a long car trip, for example. But I’m thrilled with his progress. He is initiating using the potty on his own, remembering to go most of the time, and he’s not wearing diapers! It was an intense few days, but so worth it.

What worked for you when you were potty training?

Losing

I know I’m not the first person to say this — and certainly not the last — but living with a toddler feels like a losing battle. Every day, every hour, sometimes every minute there’s a new battle to wage, a new argument, usually an argument that we just had 20 minutes ago.

I know he’s 19 months old. I know this is his job. It’s unrealistic for me to expect him to follow the rules all the time. I get it. But he’s just enough like me — stubborn and strong-willed and determined to have the last word — that it makes choosing my battles incredibly difficult. Every time he pointedly breaks the rules, he looks me right in the face with that big grin as if to say, “Rules? What rules?” And I’m convinced that it’s so monumentally important that I win this battle, this one right now, otherwise he’s doomed to a life a lawless disregard for the rules. As if letting him climb on the chair or take off his pants will lead him to an inevitable life of crime.

I realize this is ridiculous now as I sit in my silent living room while he naps peacefully in the other room. Obviously toddlers are going to break rules. The best we can do is enforce the important ones, correct them when they test boundaries, and wait for them to grow up enough to understand why it’s not a good idea to climb on the table or throw alphabet magnets into the heat registers. But in the moment, when I turn my back for a split second and find him standing on the table again, I can’t help but feel like I’m losing. To a 3-foot, 25-pound dictator. And it is exhausting.

My husband tells me to choose my battles. I know he’s right. I spend so much time chasing him, correcting him, trying to get him to mind just for the sake of following the rules. I know if I could just relax and let some things go, I would spend less time pulling so much of my hair out and more time enjoying this time. So why is it so hard to “choose my battles” in the moment?

Don’t get me wrong, there are wonderful moments sprinkled throughout the day between all of this chasing and correcting and preventing injury. I know when I look back 20 years from now, those will be the moments I remember. The snuggles and kisses and milestones. The books we read and the games we play. He makes me laugh and melts my heart as much as he drives me bonkers. I’ll remember all of that, and I’ll miss my little baby as he grows up. It’s one of the kind quirks of our brains — as parents, we have a funny way of filtering out the bad days and remembering the good.

But there are hard days, too. Days when I collapse in my bed after he finally falls asleep close to 10 o’clock. The house is a mess, the stack of papers I wanted to hand back to my students remains ungraded, my blog goes another day without an update, the bookmark in the novel on my nightstand that I’ve been reading forever doesn’t move. I feel exhausted and beaten, and all can do is wonder if I’m doing it all wrong. Surely, it’s not supposed to be this hard. Though every account I’ve ever read of someone else’s parenting experiences assures me that yes, it is this hard, it’s probably going to be this hard forever, but I still can’t help but my doubt myself.

The doubt is the worst part. What if I’m not just losing these daily battles? What if I’m failing him? That’s why it’s so hard to choose my battles. It’s so hard to tell which ones are worth fighting when there’s so much at stake.

Often when I’m standing in line at the grocery store, waiting to check out, and Judah is being particularly difficult — squirming, trying to climb out of the cart, grabbing at the credit card reader, picking up grocery items and throwing them on the floor, screaming — some kind older lady always smiles wistfully at me and says, “Enjoy this time. It goes by so fast, and someday you’ll miss it.” Though I question the truth behind that statement (obviously, I will remember the wonderful things about my son at this age, but somehow I doubt I’ll ever stand in line at the grocery store and say, “I miss those nuclear meltdown temper tantrums Judah used to have when I was trying to pay for my groceries.”) Still, I muster the kindest smile I can, and I always tell them, “I know. The days are long, and the years are short.”

And that’s what I tell myself on the bad days. I take a deep breath as I gently pick him up off the table or chase him down to put his pants back on, and I remind myself that it won’t be this way forever. It will get easier. And that’s exactly when I’ll forget all of the worst parts of life with a toddler and long for the good parts again.

How I fail every day

In the past few weeks, I’ve made a few new wonderful friends in my community. We met through a playgroup at the public library, and they’ve become a wonderful support network not to mention a fun social outlet for me. I’ve shared this blog with them, and last week a conversation with one of my new friends made me realize that I may be failing my readers. Big time.

“You can never see my house! I read your blog,” she told me. Her point was that she feels disorganized and messy compared to the posts I write about organization and simple living.

I should say here that I have seen her house since that conversation (she welcomed my family into her home to hide in her basement during last week’s storms), and it was nowhere near as bad as she made it seem. She’s become a dear friend to me, and I’m not writing this post to make her feel bad (if you’re reading this, do NOT feel bad). But she made me realize something: my readers only see part of the story. I’m not purposely deceiving you guys, but I think of you as guests in my life. Of course I shine everything up and make it look pretty before you come over.

When I write about organization, simplicity, parenting, and even money, I write about what I strive to be. I don’t think I make myself look perfect, but I definitely do make myself look better than I am. Don’t we all put our best feet forward in public? I’m nowhere near where I want to be, though. Not by a long shot.

Over the past four years, the readers of this blog have built me up, supported me, and helped me to become a better wife, a better mother, and a better person. The very last thing in the world that I want is to make any of you feel inadequate.

So I want to share with you some of the ways that I fail, and how I want to become better.

I’m not as organized as I seem.

Like I said, what I write here is what I strive to be. It’s true that I’m pretty tidy in general when it comes to our living space, but when I write about organization tips, I’m sharing the ideas I’ve had for how I can get better. In a perfect world, I would follow these tips to the tee. I don’t, though. My drawers are overstuffed with clothing. My closets are packed to the brim (and sometimes so stuffed that they’re hazardous to open). I’m trying to get better, and when I write here about organization, it motivates me to get it together.

I’m thankful that children are so forgiving of their mothers.

I love my son and I’m so thankful to have him in my life — that much is absolutely true. But when I write glowing posts about the joys of motherhood, I leave out a lot of the normal challenges. He is a toddler now, and he can be frustrating. Sometimes, he drives me absolutely bonkers. I feel terrible admitting it, but I have raised my voice at times when he’s repeatedly getting into things, even though I know he’s not able to understand why I’m angry and I know that kind of discipline doesn’t work. I try to interact with him and play with him as much as I can, but there are days when I’m exhausted, sick, or busy and he watches one too many episodes of Sesame Street. I learn from my mistakes, and I like to think I’m becoming a better mother every day. I certainly don’t think my failures are doing any permanent damage, but I do fail him daily. I wish I didn’t, but I do.

My financial choices aren’t always the “right” ones.

This is admittedly a particularly sensitive subject for me, because I have gotten comments from trolls in the past, and the last thing I want is to get so sensitive about it that I don’t want to write about my personal finances at all (on what is supposed to be a money blog). But here are a few choices I’ve made that I know aren’t considered “right” by most finance experts:

  • We’re not in a huge hurry to pay off our remaining student loan debt. In fact, we took a big vacation to Europe, had a baby, and bought a house while making minimum payments on that debt. I have no regrets, but I know I have readers who feel this choice is irresponsible.
  • We financed a used car last year instead of saving to pay with cash.
  • We bought a house before we had a full 20% down payment.
  • We purposely set our tax withholding too high, because we’d rather receive a refund than a tax bill every year.

I’m sure there are other choices I’ve made that personal finance experts don’t agree with me on, but I’ve always stressed on this blog — my financial choices are my own. They have worked for my family, and even if we’re not perfect, our goal is to strike a balance between smart financial choices and quality of life. Could we build wealth faster if we squirreled away every last penny into savings? Sure, but it’s not for us, not at this point in our lives. So we save some, spend some, and try to balance future security with present happiness.

I don’t always make healthy choices.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll tell you now: I don’t know exactly how much weight I gained during my pregnancy with Judah, but I stopped looking at the scale after I’d gained 60 pounds, and that was only 2/3rd of the way through my pregnancy. I’m still struggling to lose quite a bit of that weight. It’s true that I try to eat healthy and exercise, but there are days when I hit the snooze button instead of rolling out of bed at 5 a.m. to go to the gym. There are days when I eat one (or four) too many cookies. And yes, sometimes all I want in the world is a cheeseburger and french fries. If I didn’t make the wrong choices a lot of the time, I would have been back at my ideal weight months ago. But I really do just love a good cheeseburger.

As for Judah, I had all kinds of plans for his diet when I was pregnant. He was going to eat organic fruits and vegetables, no processed food, organic milk, yada yada yada. Then he started having weight gain issues. We offer him fruits and vegetables at every meal, but the truth is, he doesn’t eat them as well as I’d like. When he fell of the charts for weight, I was so desperate for him to eat anything that I became much more lax with his diet than I’d like. I let him eat chicken nuggets and other processed foods, because he would eat them, and all I wanted was for him to gain weight.

He’s been doing a lot better with his weight recently, so I’ve been encouraging him to eat more vegetables, but his diet isn’t perfect. I let him eat Teddy Grahams and Goldfish crackers and, yes, chicken nuggets (they’re not even homemade or organic!). It’s another area where we strive for balance. I don’t think any picky 15-month-old eats a perfectly balanced diet, but we’re trying. We do our best to set a good example, and that’s the most important thing, I think.

I struggle with chronic anxiety and depression.

I try to keep things positive around here. The last thing I want to do is complain because I know just how blessed I am. But the truth is, I do struggle with an anxiety disorder and at times in my life I’ve been clinically depressed. I don’t tell you this for sympathy, but I hope those of you who struggle with these disorders (they’re common, to be sure) can relate to me a little better. I am happy overall (at least I have no reason to be unhappy), healthy, and blessed, but there are days when I feel sorry for myself for no reason at all. Even if you don’t struggle with anxiety or depression, we all have bad days. I am no exception.

The point of this post isn’t to beat myself up by any means. I’m proud of a lot of things about my life, and I like to write about what makes me proud. I don’t focus on my failures on this blog, because I think we should all focus on what’s positive about ourselves and our lives even as we strive to be better. But I wanted to be honest and clear with you guys that even though I don’t write about it all the time, I fail daily. No one is perfect all the time, and my life isn’t always sunshine and daffodils.

We all have weaknesses, but we also have strengths. I choose to focus on my strengths on this blog, and I strive to focus on my strengths in life. I think if we can all succeed at that, we’ll be much happier and healthier.

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