Comments on: Does having kids destroy your marriage?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Apr 2015 04:17:29 +0000

I am really happy that you are back to blogging Karen. I have enjoyed your posts immensely and am appreciative of your insight. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant – it has been 2 years. I think you are spot-on when you mention how important it is to nature the relationship with your spouse. If you don’t put each other first, I do believe the relationship will perish. Thanks for sharing.

By: Karen

Karen — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 01:51:51 +0000

In reply to jonathanwthomas.

Agreed. If both people aren’t on the same page and one of them is tricked or pushed into it, that could be a definite problem. But again, I think that’s indicative of bigger problems in the marriage — either you didn’t have similar life plans or you didn’t discuss some pretty important life plans before getting married.

I guess my point is just that kids alone are not the problem. Either there was a failure to communicate before the kids came along, or there’s a general failure to weather adversity. I think it’s more likely that kids magnify existing problems than create new ones.

By: jonathanwthomas

jonathanwthomas — Sat, 04 Apr 2015 22:22:14 +0000

Of course it can, especially if it’s not a topic you sorted out before you got married. The problem, I think, is that no one prepares you for how terrible being a parent actually is. I’m now convinced it’s a massive conspiracy by our parents to keep it from us so they can be entertained by our misery that they once experienced. I mean, it is rewarding. But if you don’t want them or can live without them or have to bargain with a spouse to get them, for the love of god don’t have them.