Comments on: Simplify your household

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:51:01 +0000

Also,if you have just one kid, you are the sole source of entertainment/interaction/care. Siblings are a great source of all of the above. This doesn’t mean I’m stressing people need to have 3+ kids, it is just that having an only child(especially a young one) isn’t a piece of cake either. Most days I am thankful that my two can play/help each other while I try to get stuff done. Not sure what I will do when my oldest starts school in the fall!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:42:46 +0000

In reply to Karen. I totally agree with you, as a mom that has bounced between part time and full time roles at work, I often find there is much less house work when I work full time because the kids aren't there to go behind me and un-pick-up their toys :-). That being said I much prefer working less hours so that we can play and work on preschool stuff etc. also, the more time you spend at home the more you see what needs to be done and take care of deep cleaning stuff that needs to be done. When I work more I usually neglect washing windows, washing furniture, etc that really does need to be done (especially if you have pets!), but I just concentrate on the superficial picking up, sweeping, etc instead.

By: Karen

Karen — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:50:59 +0000

In reply to margot.

I think any theory on *why* women expand their work to fill their time is just that — a theory. I would argue rather than wanting to feel “important and validated” that stay-at-home moms spend more time on housework because a.) they have more time to spend on it and b.) being in the home all day with a small child creates more mess that then requires cleaning. If you and your children are outside the home 40 hours a week, of course there will be less housework because no one is in the house making messes during that time.

I agree with Anne that I don’t need to increase my time doing housework to feel validated. I wouldn’t have quit my job if I didn’t think being a stay-at-home mom was an important and valid alternative to full-time work.

That said, I was definitely more stressed as a working woman with no children than I am as a stay-at-home mom of one. I enjoy this work much more and I feel more in control of my own time, so the stress isn’t as great.

I try not to let housework stress me out at all. I stay busy, but at the end of the day, if I don’t finish the tasks I planned to do, I remind myself that I chose to stay home not so I could clean more, but so I could be with my son.

By: anne

anne — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:10:59 +0000

In reply to margot. "getting things done at home" in efficient (or non-efficient) ways is not the issue.Raising your children well by being around and available to them is. That is importance and validation that money can never buy. You are doing a great job, Karen! :)

By: margot

margot — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 07:12:26 +0000

There was an interesting long-term study that showed that no matter how much (or how little) housewives had to do, they expanded the work to fill the full amount of time. There are several reasons, but the main one was that it helped them feel important and validated. The study showed that major technological advances (like the laundry machine, the dish washer, the vacuum, etc) didn’t decrease the amount of time women spent doing housework – women just expanded the work they spent on other tasks or invented new tasks to do. I see this trend all the time among my friends. For example, one friend who stays home might be stressed by how much she thinks she needs to do all day while another friend accomplishes the same amount in the home even though she and her husband work full-time. I regularly see friends get just as stressed out raising one child as other parents are raising six children. I try to keep this in mind as I go through my life. It helps me be more efficient, not make up new work or more neurotic work to fill the time, and it helps me proactively choose to adopt a less stressed out attitude which I think makes my reality that way.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:41:46 +0000

I hope you enjoyed it, because once you have more kids the only time you will be “parking your butt” is to nurse – and even then it won’t be always because you will get good at standing and walking around nursing real quick while chasing a toddler/preschooler. LOL I wish I had realized all of that with my first one.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 08:31:01 +0000

I’m with you on the washing once a week. because I still work full time it’s split over a few days, washing on Friday night, hang out to dry on Saturday, iron on Sunday, unless it’s really windy and the clothes dry on Saturday!
I love knowing that once everything is folded and hung up on a Sunday its done until next weekend, and I’m all ready for the week!
I do however like folding, I find it therapeutic (my mother thinks I’m nuts!!)

By: Kacie

Kacie — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:27:43 +0000

In reply to Karen.

I said “I’m trying to get Viv involved….” as in yeah no she’s not really doing what I want her to do yet. Still trying!

Earlier today, I was cleaning the bathroom. Was like, “Johnny, wanna help?” “YEAH!” So I got him a squirt bottle, filled with water and vinegar and gave him a clean towel. Told him to spray the floor and countertops and whatever and then wipe it. He loved it, it sorta helped, and I think it was overall good stuff.

I think even though I still had to do the real cleaning, he felt involved and tried to contribute, so that’s setting a good mindset for later on.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:51:44 +0000

In reply to Kacie.

Viv is cleaning up her toys?! One of Judah’s favorite games when I’m attempting to pick up his room is to follow me and dump out all the toys I just put away. Pfft.

It is so hard to know when to get kids involved in the process. I’m sort of just playing it by ear. I think it’s awesome that Johnny already has responsibilities. My plan is to get Judah involved as soon as he can reliably follow commands (so when he’s 21, maybe? lolz).

I think I’ll start by having him just shadow my when I’m doing chores and “help.” He can put away plastic bowls and things in the lower cabinets when I’m unloading the dishwasher. Or help me fold towels or put away his own clothes. And obviously he’ll be responsible for cleaning up his own toys when he’s done with them. It’s going to depend on what he’s capable of doing without undoing all of my work, though. Sometimes with littles it seems like their “help” just makes more work for you, but I do think it’s important to find a way to get them involved in chores as early as possible to create good cleaning habits.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:45:57 +0000

In reply to Kate the Librarian.

Oh, geez, Kate. I was QUEEN LAZY when I was pregnant. I was lucky if I got up and showered and dressed, let alone cleaned anything, and I wasn’t even working at the time. You will be amazed at how much energy you have once the baby is OUT instead of in.

I said in the post that I sat on my butt for a few weeks, but if I’m being really truthful, it was actually more like months. It seems like it took forever for me to find a groove. Surprisingly, though, having an older baby does a lot to help you find a groove and get into a routine — out of necessity more than anything. You will find a groove! After you take the several months to sit on your butt that you rightfully deserve after giving birth. :)